Im sure ive got URBAN HYMNS still sitting around the house, somewhere, although i know the case for the cd is long gone, and im sure with a little bit of searching i’ll eventually come across it. Anyway, apart from that, ive got the VERVEs first two cds as well as the best of that was released a few years ago. And their new one is on my list to get when i have a spare bit of cash.

   As i briefly mentioned earlier me and my mate colin ssaw the band at the Barrowlands around the time Urban Hymns was just coming out. Another drunken night, where one of the girls was sick in the hall that was with us and then tried to grab anyone she could to dance with her for the whole gig. There was plenty room around where she was standing but this was really only beacause she had spewed on the floor. We also popped into Bairds bar before hand, the rough and ready Celtic pub right next door to the old dancehall. Coloured top to bottom in green and full of mean looking bruisers its nearly enough to put you off leaving the house ever again, but as usual when it comes to scotland and drinking, common sense usually takes a back seat so our drunken escapades that night included the two girls staggering up to the pool table, slamming change down and demanding they were up for a game next, while real life headbanges in vests in the middle of december looked on bewilderdly and also colin swirling a purse round his finger with no care as to how this looks to the average person at the bar before it finally came flying off and shot across the room until it slapped someone in the face. Never a dull moment.

   Oh yeah, and one of the girls fell down the stairs so had to stagger along to the train station while we shot ahead to get a well deserved bucket of KFC.

   “Im a vegetarian!” declared one of the girls, hungerly as we offered her some chips before her sister reached into her pocket, brought out a couple of pound and slammed in on the train table before launching into the bucket for a piece of chicken “fuck vegitarians” she shouted, “im bloody starvin!”.

  Theres the classic 1984 album from Van Halen as well as a double greatest hits, and two cds from VAST, which if i remember off hand stands for VISUAL AUDIO SENSORY THEATRE, or something like that. Very good stuff, where they mix heavy guitars with those mad monks that do all the chanting.

   And ive got two cds by the VINES, and also saw the group when they played an early gig at the QMU in Glasgow. Mainman craig already showed a hint of insanity when we caught him, sitting on the stairs watching the support act, PETE YORN, while hitting his empty plastic water bottle off his head. Then when playing, he kept making bizarre, funny rock poses and stuff and also jumping into the crowd, mid-solo without missing a note. A complete crackpot.

  The debut album this year from VAMPIRE WEEKEND is excellent, and ive managed to catch the band twice now. Theyve been wowing the fans at all the big festivals this year and also saw them more recently at the Barrowlands, where they even did an excellent cover of Fleetwood Macs ‘EVERYWHERE’.

  As for last years debut cd from the VIEW, apart from a couple of singles theres nothing really to write home about, i seriously dont see what the big fuss is about these guys.

  Finish off the letter V with two best of’s that couldnt be anymore different if they tried.

   One is a collection of songs from the legendary VELVET UNDERGROUND and the other is from those eternal fancy dress partyers the VILLAGE PEOPLE.

  All i can say is that ive never, drunkenly, stood in the middle of a dancefloor/pub/middle of the street and did manic hand dance movements to the Velvet Underground. Im sure most of you guys out there would say the same thing (apart from probably DAVE!) which means that although this band is the essence of coolness, if it came down to it we would all secretly pick the Village People.

Published in: on November 20, 2008 at 1:20 pm  Leave a Comment  


  Another section which should take no time at all to run through and should also be, hopefully, fairly painless as theres less than half a dozen artists under the letter U.

  Way out in front is U2 where ive managed to count about 13 cds, which include the two double best of’s and a live bootleg cd i picked up in Ibiza one year the same time i found Duran Duran Unplugged. In fact i think ive got all their cds except from October and Rattle And Hum.

    I know its easy to hate U2, ‘biggest band in the world’, and all that, but i quite like them and the twice ive seen them have been up there with some of the best gigs ive ever been to.

   Parkhead was good, although we were raging after fighting our way to get close to the front we then were confronted by the horrific prospect of watching the Utah Saints, live. Thats a bollocks statement right there if there ever was one. Live my arse, its all a bunch of pre-programmed shit. So we buggered off for a walk then took up residence at the other end of the stadium, on the terraces and enjoyed every moment from there. I remember big burning crosses on the screen while they were doing ‘BULLET THE BLUE SKY’. A song we found could be hummed along to almost half of the verve live set we witnessed years ago at the Barrowlands.

   The other time was at Murrayfield when they were touring their POP album. By their own accounts, this is nowhere near their best album, its full of good songs that werent totally realised properly at the time (theyve actually said at various times that they would like to go back one day and redo the album) but live they took on a new lease of life.

  The live show was spectacular, with one of the biggest screens ive ever seen on stage, i remember then doing ‘MIAMI’ to a cartoon backdrop of palm trees being blown away by hurricanes and roaring waves lashing out of the sea and engulfing buildings, it was pretty stunning stuff.

  If i was to pick my favourite of their albums i would go for ACHTUNG BABY, a change of direction for them at the time, but still full of great songs.

   And my acoustic version of ONE this year at the camp site got a few shouts of drunken approval when oen person actually shouted in the direction of our tent to ‘turn it up’. I can only come to the conclusion that they thought we had the ipod on and if that was the case then i’ll take that as excellent drunken compliment.

  I also like UB40s take on the whole reggae thing, and as well as having half a dozen of their cds, ive also seen them live one as well. A pretty surreal experience as it was sometime in the last 10 years at the Exhibition Centre and support came from The Pretenders, or Chrissie Hynde and whoever was left of the Pretenders, but both sets were great.

 Ive got 3 cds from Midge Ure, a guy who rarely gets the recognition he deserves, and has done a hell of a lot more, music wise, than most people will realise.

  By the mid 70s he was already topping the charts with 70s glam poppers SLICK, as well as being in the RICH KIDS. He actually auditioned for the Sex Pistols, but of course didnt look the part, and he toured playing guitar for THIN LIZZY at one time.

  As the lead singer with Ultravox he took them to chart fame during the 80s and also wrote and lent vocals to VISAGE including the classic FADE TO GREY.

   Of course everyone knows about his involvement with Live Aid and helping write Do They Know Its Christmas? and he also topped the charts as a solo artist in 1985 with IF I WAS. He even recorded a song with Thin Lizzy frontman Phil Lynott (YELLOW PEARL) which ended up being the theme tune for TOP OF THE TOPS for a while.

  I saw him playing live once down at the Magnum in Irvine where he played an excellent set mixing solo material with stuff that he had done with Ultravox and more. And Ultravox are back together and ready for touring next year, and by the time its over im sure colins borther Gus, if he hasnt got one already, will probably have a restraining order out against him for the safety of the band.

  Theres an Undertones best of, which amongst many other great songs features the late John Peels favourite single, TEENAGE KICKS.

  And i’ll finish off this short section with actress/comedian Tracy Ullman who turned her hand to singing for a bit in the 80s and churned out the pop classics BREAKAWAY, SUNGLASSES and THEY DONT KNOW and could well be the missing link between all those 60s motown, phil spector girl groups and the PIPETTES.

Published in: on November 20, 2008 at 10:57 am  Leave a Comment  


 TEENAGE FANCLUB are another of my all time favourite groups. Coming from Bellshill in Glasgow, they share a connection with the Beatles, not only in that there are 3 singer/songwriters within the band, but that they also make timeless beautiful music. With 8 cds of their music i have a great majority of their music, although im sure theres loads of early stuff, offical and unoffical, that i could still get if i looked in the right places.

 Kurt Cobain was fan of this groups music, as he was with quite a few scottish acts at the time, such as the Vaselines and the BMX Bandits and the best introduction to this band would definetely be with listening to BANDWAGONESQUE. Amongst many great songs on this cd is ALCOHOLIDAY, a song which i usually take great pleasure in crucifying with the help of an acoustic guitar whenever the opportunity arises.

  Seen these guys play quite a few times now, 2 or 3 times at T in the Park, a packed Barrowlands, the Mitchell Libraries and the Oran Mor and theyve always been amazing.


 Ive been a fan of Tears For Fears as long as ive been into music, THE HURTING and SONGS FROM THE BIG CHAIR are excellent albums. Theres also some good songs peppered amongst their other releases over the years. Roland Orzabel is a self proclaimed massive Beatles fan, and on their most recent album from a few years ago, this kind of shows. Because the album sounds like its been recorded by a big fan of the Beatles that basically sounds like Tears For Fears trying to sound like ELO who are trying to sound like the Beatles, but dont let that put you off.

   TERRORVISION were a great, good time rock band who had a knack for coming up with infectiously catchy tunes. OBVLIVION, JOSEPHINE, PERSEVERENCE and TEQUILA. At one gig they were handing out free tequilas to the peope in the front row which isnt really the wisest move when youve been jumping around, singing, and gasping for air for about an hour before hand. But i did manage to keep in down.

   Also saw TEXAS once and they do have a shit load of great tunes.

 TRAVIS are on 5 cds, which i would say THE MAN WHO is the best of the lot. Im sure i saw them live at the Tsunami gig at the Exhibition centre, but i couldnt (and wouldnt) stake my life on it. And drunkenly caught them at T in the Park when they were co-headliners on the sunday along with Green Day. I was pretty fucked by the time i got to withing hearing distance of them, but they were good. Although hearing them belt of NIGHT FEVER had me wondering ‘what the fuck was going on!’. Theyve always been good with a cover though and if you ever hear their version of KILLER QUEEN you would swear it was QUEEN that were actually doing it.

   THE THE are also on 5 cds, and were basically mainman MATT JOHNSON and a revolving set of musicians, who included at one point JOHNNY MARR. Theres a cd of HANK WILLIAMS cover versions which is actually very good as well as classic albums SOUL MINING (featuring the excellent ‘THIS IS THE DAY’) and INFECTED.

  TURIN BRAKES have some great songs scattered over the 4 cds i have of theirs and i have no shame in telling you i have THEN JERICO in my collection, although some of you may raise eyebrows at me having 3 of their cds. One of these is a cheap best of, and another is a cd released way after their hey day (did they have one?) when MARK SHAWS attempted solo career vanished before it even appeared to start. But the best of the bunch is THE BIG AREA cd, which is full of unashamed, over produced 80s pop. Im still scouring charity shops and bargain bins for their first album, so if you ever stumble across it, give me a shout.

 I would be as well getting this out of the way now…….i have 2 TAKE THAT cds. Im sure i never actually physically went out and bought them, it was more like when you never ordered something from that Britannia Music Club thing they would just send you something out anyway, and you usually couldnt be arsed sending it back. Thats how ive managed to end up with these cds. Honestly! And to be fair, they did write the odd good pop tune, BACK FOR GOOD was, and still is an excellent song, and who could resist drunkenly belting out A MILLION LOVE SONGS anytime it came on?

   Other atrists with 2 cds each are THERAPY? (screamager is still an fantastic song), TALKING HEADS, THE TEMPTATIONS (..’i know you’re gonna leaavvveee me, but i refuse, to let you go….’) and irish group THE THRILLS, whos gig at the Carling Academy years ago seemed to be like a blink and you’ll miss it affair. At one point we were ready to head into the venue when we realised chris wasnt with us and on returning to the bar we were in he was casually standing at a table, oblivious to the fact we had left the pub. This was the same pub, (if not the same night) that a karaoke was on while we were in. Never one to shy away from things like this i stuck my name up for ‘HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF’ by Duran Duran, and felt that i wasnt THAT bad at it. Although the table of people beside us seemed to disagree. And they were DEAF!!!! (im not shitting you!). Half way through the song, there seemed to be mad waving of arms going all over the place at the table before they all got up and left. Cheeky Bastards.

  Anyway, on getting chris, we shot into the venue, saw the Thrills short set and were back in the pub in what seemed like less than an hour.

  “Were we just at a gig there?” someone actually asked.

 I got into the TRASHCAN SINATRAS through colin, who is a walking encyclopedia on this group. A band who have been around for about 20 years now and actually come from sunny Irvine, i was converted by the gorgeous sounds of their WEIGHTLIFTING album, which reminded me of very early, and very good era AZTEC CAMERA.

 Theres a THIN LIZZY greatest hits cd as well as the LIVE AND DANGEROUS one. ‘LIVE AND BLOODY LOUD’ more like, as we all found out one very early morning in IBIZA when alistair decided that a blast of THIN LIZZY would be the ideal thing to wake us up before heading, at a crazily ludicrious time with massive hangovers to the water park. Colin not only managed to be sick on the bus, but actually through a hole in the plastic bag that we had given him to try and prevent him from making a mess. He then flumoxed the driver by simply turning his hat round as a preplexed driver stood, scratching his head trying to find the vomitting culprit. Then on getting to the entrance to the water park, colin assured the guy dressed up as some cuddly animal character that if he even attempted to come anywhere near him to have a photograph taken he would ‘knock his head off’.  ROCK N ROLL my man, Phil Lynott would have definetely approved.

  The rest, as usual, are all on one cd each, such as the TREMELOES (here comes my baby is a top tune), the TEARS (brett and bernard from Suede), JAMIE T, TINY DANCERS, TLC (ive no idea why), TRAIN (and its not even the one with Drops Of Jupiter on it!), and TOPLOADER (jesus!).

 From the 80s theres best of’s from THE THOMPSON TWINS,  TALK TALK, THUNDER, TEARDROP EXPLODES and a solo album by Duran Durans ANDY TAYLOR.  Not his first solo album (which was called THUNDER and im still looking for on cd. ANYONE??) but a cover versions album called DANGEROUS, which im sure could be dangerous to your hearing if you were in the room while it was on.

  TERRIS were one of those bands i read about in NME who were gonna be, but never were, the next big thing. As like the 22-20s i cant really remember what these cds sound like so will maybe have to revist them again soon.

  Finally, THE TWANG. Now i bought this ages ago, in what i thought was a mad moment of bargain hunting for only £3, although many people would now tell me that the actual bargain would have been keeping the £3 in my pocket. Up till now i havent even listened to the bloody thing, and feel that may stay like that for a while to come.

Published in: on November 20, 2008 at 8:06 am  Leave a Comment  


 Deep breath for the letter S, as theres a shitload of cds to get through here, and in some cases ‘shit’ is the perfect word to use, and the one thats probably whispered more than once by anyone reading this.

   Starting off on the right foot with the SUPER FURRY ANIMALS and ive got 8 of their cds. Not the whole collection (dont have their all welsh album or Love Kraft) but im pretty close. And ive got a cd from one of their live gigs. I saw them live once, supporting Blur and they were great, watching the crowd go mental to The Man Dont Give A Fuck. And Blur were also a revelation that night, as colin couldnt believe how good and different they were live compared to listening to them on cd. It was basically like a pop band doing a punk gig.

   Got all the SUEDE cds, but sadly never saw them live. But as they did a little while ago as the Tears, im sure Brett and Bernard will, one day, come back as Suede. And 7 SIMPLE MINDS cds (thats a shock to me!)  although they do have a lot of albums out there and theres no problem in hunting them down in a sale or a bargain bin near  you.

   Got half a dozen SUPERGRASS albums, who i vaguely remember watching, from a distance, on the main stage at T in the Park years ago, and theres 5 albums each from the STONE TEMPLE PILOTS and SPANDAU BALLET.

   Saw the Stone Temple Pilots at the Barrowlands when they got back together around the time of their SHANGRI-LA-DE-DA album, and though its safe to say that Scott Weiland is ‘a complete nut job’, they were pretty good. As were Spandau Ballet, or as they were billed, ‘Ex Spandau Ballet members’. The Kemp brothers weren’t in the line up, but it was still a glorious hour and a half of Spandau classics when they played the Garage in Sauchiehall Street. All the classics were played, and Tony Hadley even sung Duran Durans ‘Save A Prayer’. He also seemed to be ‘a bit pished’ which i suppose, like us, was the best way to enjoy a Spandau Ballet live performance.

  Ive still to get the most recent cd from SIGUR ROS, but have all their other stuff. I cant speak highly enough about this band, who do seem (and sound) to be as if they’re from a totally different planet from everybody else. Their music is otherworldly and it tends to make me think that this is the sound you’ll hear when you die and the Angels are there to serenade you up to Heaven. Seen them twice, just a couple of weeks ago at the Carling Academy, where they were amazing, and a few years ago at T in the Park, when i was so out of my head i was sure they were doing a Cure song in Icelandic! Sadly that wasnt the case, although flashbacks in my head always seem to want to argue the fact.

  Although a greatest hits cd is more than enough, i find myself with 4 SHED SEVEN cds in my collection. But their trip down memory lane at this years T in the Park was fun.

 On 4 cds each theres SPEARMINT (imagine northern soul mixed with Dexys MIdnight Runners), SMASHING PUMPKINS and the STEREOPHONICS. And thats 4 Stereophonics cds without their first cd being in amongst them. Bloody shocking! What happened to this group? Their debut cd was good, even Performance and Cocktails had its moments, but after that they just lightly sprinkled each of  their dreary soulless albums with a few catchy pop singles. They must have shat themselves when they did THE BARTENDER AND THE THIEF because they havent seemed to come close to this since then. TRAFFIC was an excellent song as well.

  Got 3 SNOW PATROL cds, and seen the group twice at T in the Park as well. They were okay a year ago when headlining, but to be honest nothing spectacular but when they played in the tent a few years before that, it was a different story. It was after RUN had went massive and the huge sing-a-long to this song would have made a glass eye weep.

 This was also our unoffical friday night party song as there could always be a few of us found at some random house we had been invited to or had simply just gate crashed singing this song at the top of our voices, with danny strumming away on his faithful acoustic guitar while i did my own unique impression of an electric guitar solo. Anyone who’s ever been at one of these parties will no exactly what im talking about.

  Also 3 cds from THE STONE ROSES, SPIRITUALISED, THE SMITHS, SPACE (yeah i know, 3!!!!) and STARSAILOR. ive seen Starsailor twice, and one time was when they were special guests at a Charlatans gig. Not that the neddy charlatans fans in the crowd thought they were that special. At one point James Walsh stopped singing midway through a Starsailor song to say to the audience that ‘they had been invited here to play by the Charlatans and that the group should have a little respect and stop throwing money on stage at them’. Well, if it had’ve been me i would’ve asked the fuckers if that was the best they could do and entice them to throw more money at me, then wind them up by picking all the money up after i had finished and had the last laugh as i headed to the bar with all their cash!

 On two cds each we’re got the SMALL FACES, the SPECIALS, SQUEEZE,  ROD STEWART, STING (no need, i know, sorry!) and SAVAGE GARDEN, who were once described by one clearly insane music journalist as the ‘australian duran duran’. BOLLOCKS!!

 Liverpool group SHACK are also on two and the song COMEDY from HMS FABLE is an excellent tune. Saw the Strokes a few times live and still have two of their cds, although ive had to replace their last one at least once and have lost their second.

 And although SILVER SUN never set the world on fire with their powerpop sound, SILVER SUN and NEO WAVE are full of little pop gems.  Saw them once at V97 when they were one of the first bands on. Not everyone was impressed by these guys though, as someone through a cake or a bun at them and on hitting the lead singer he shouted out the classic rock line……’which fucker threw that?’. Finishing off their set he also exclaimed that ‘you’ve seen the best now see the rest’. Quite right as well.

  The rest of this section is taken up by single cd entries from a wide range of whos who or simply who? of music and i’ll try get through them here without too much swearing or embarrassment.

  So in no order, we have THE SEX PISTOLS (never mind the bollocks! of course), i was never a big fan of punk to be honest but saw them play at the end of last year and they were pretty good. SCISSOR SISTERS, its the third copy of their debut cd im onto now, SIMON AND GARFUNKEL, SLY & THE FAMILY STONE, DAVID SYLVIAN (ex lead singer with JAPAN), the STRANGLERS (who, although they never had Hugh Cornwall in their line up, were excellent at this years T in the Park), the STYLE COUNCIL,  SEAL, SEMI SONIC, SAINT ETIENNE, BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN and SOUNDGARDEN.

  John Squires debut solo album lies barely unheard. Saying that he really cant sing isnt doing his howling any justice at all.  His other project, not counting the Stone Roses of course, was the Seahorses. A reasonably good cd with BLINDED BY THE SUN being the standout song.

  STAIND! I should be bloody stoned for having one of their cds, same goes for SUM 41, and god knows what i was thinking about picking up a SUPERNATURALS cd. These buggers used to play down the Beach Park in Irvine at our ‘not so famous’ rock on the water thingy every year, then we all went to the V97 gig in Leeds and who did the two girls that were with us go off and see? The Superbloodynaturals!

  Ive never heard of the SHINNING never mind given their cd a listen. I really have to stop buying cds just because theyre cheap. And i was clearly beyond help when i thought that buying a solo album by MADNESS frontman SUGGS would be a good idea.

  The SLEEPY JACKSON cd is rather good, and if nothing else its always handy having the SISTERS OF MERCY around as most of their songs edge towards the ten minute mark and are ideal for wandering off outside for a fag when you’re meant to be dj-ing.

   WILLIAM SHATNER does an excellent version of Pulp’s ‘COMMON PEOPLE’ but again, buying a whole album by him is a bit excessive. If you thought i was crazy, try and listen to Mr. Shatner.

  Theirs best of’s from SLADE, the SAW DOCTORS and SHAKIN STEVENS as well as cds from ANDREW STRONG (the singer from the COMMITMENTS), SCRITTI POLITTI, SLASH’S SNAKEPIT (yeah! that slash from Guns n Roses and Velvet Revolver) and SOUL ASYLUM.

  Rounding off the agony is a solo cd from Tears For Fears singer CURT SMITH,and no need purchases from SUGAR RAY and SMASHMOUTH. Buying the hit single (which i did) off both these albums would have been more than enough.

  SUGAR are good, which features ex-Husker Du frontman Bob Mould, the STANDS and the SIGHTS are fine in a retro 60s kind of way and you may have to google like mad to make up your own minds about SIMPLE KID, SOUTH, SPACEHOG, SPACEMAID, STRAW, SKIN (not the big bald black scary lesbian from Skunk Anansie but a scray non the less rock band) and SOUNDTRACK OF OUR LIVES.

   And thats it!

 Okay, its safe to come out again.  Go for a walk to clear you head if you have to and just to warn you as we get closer and closer to the end of the alphabet and you think that the worst is over……you may have to think again!

Published in: on November 19, 2008 at 9:56 am  Leave a Comment  


 Start off with REM and half a dozen of their cds. Of course there’s OUT OF TIME as well as AUTOMATIC FOR THE PEOPLE, a couple of best ofs, one featuring early stuff the other more up to date materialm and there GREEN and REVEAL as well. Ive never been a massive fan of REM, well not in an album type way, but over the years they have written a bunch of good, catchy stuff.

   My one chance of seeing them live passed by this summer when i decided to round off the T in the Park weekend going mental to Primal Scream, instead of standing, tapping me feet lightly and stroking my chin thoughtfully to REM. I think i made the wiser choice.

 And ive got 5 cds from RADIOHEAD, which is quite surprising really as ive always been quite reluctant to get into them in any big way. I always feel that no matter what they bring out, good or bad, they just simply wont get critisized, as in many peoples eyes, they cant do any wrong. Well ive mellowed over the years towards them and would actually love to see them live. THE BENDS, i would say, is my favourite out of their material, but i have looked at OK COMPUTER in a new light since hearing the dub, reggae cover of the whole album called RADIODREAD, by the Easy Star All-Stars. And these guys have also turned their talents on Pink Floyds classic DARK SIDE OF THE MOON, renaming and reimagining the album as DUB SIDE OF THE MOON.

 Theres 3 cds from the RED HOT CHILLI PEPPERS who ive gave up caring about a long long time ago. They hit thier peak with CALIFORNICATION and BY THE WAY and since then, god knows whats happened to them musically. The Red Hot Shitti Peppers more like. The other cd i have is BLOOD SUGAR SEX MAGIK which features their finest moment UNDER THE BRIDGE as well as one of their earlier hits GIVE IT AWAY, apart from that theres nothing much to write home about. Oh SUCK MY KISS, more like KISS MY ARSE!

 Theres also a trio of cds from scottish group RUNRIG, who i did catch once live down at the Magnum in Irvine.

 All the following are on 2 cds each, which include DAMIEN RICE, i still regularily listen to his debut O and theres been many drunken times when someone or other has managed to get some kind of cover version of one of his songs going. Ive even had jodie sing along with me once i had mastered the basic chords to this song and its always a litte funny and quite cute when she tries to get her tongue round the word ‘scenario’.

   A few best ofs from the RAMONES, a collection from the Rolling Stones as well as EXILE ON MAIN STREET and a best of from british soul singer ROACHFORD as well as his debut album which featured the incredibly catchy CUDDLY TOY.

   RAZORLIGHT, or Johnny Borrel to be more precise, get their fair share of abuse, so im not going to really follow down that road, after all ive bought their first two cds and stood and watched them at T in the Park years ago, although i could get away with blaming that on sun stroke. Im catiously leaving judgement until i hear their new cd, which ive read a few good things about. Mind you, certain music magazines gave their last cd full marks which is all fair and well but considering that they sounded remarkably like the Boomtown Rates (In The Morning) and a latter day Marillion (America) you wonder what the heal the reviewers were on.

  Theres the two cds by THE RACONTEURS, Jack Whites other group when not with the White Stripes, and both are pretty good. He doesnt have the restraints that hes put upon himself when recording with Meg and the music sounds great. On more than one occassion ive thought that certain bits of music or vocals wouldnt go amiss alongside anything recorded by the Beatles.

  Theres the first two albums by danish group  THE RAVEONETTES who mix everly brothers and buddy holly harmonies with a phil spectorish backdrop of guitar wall of sound, (thats if you imagine the jesus and mary chain being phil spectors guitarists of choice) and the two cds by the REINDEER SECTION which basically started as a drunken idea one night in Glasgow from SNOW PATROLS Gary Lightbody when he got loads of scottish musicians to agree to record together under this name. If it was a headache to get eveyone together for these two albums it doesnt show, with a scottish supergroup consisting of members from Travis, Belle & Sebastian, Mogwai, Teenage Fanclub, Arab Strap and many more wonderful artists. Gary even took one the song YOU ARE MY JOY from the album ‘SON OF EVIL REINDEER’ and featured it in some recent gigs by Snow Patrol.

  This section finishes off with cds from recent chart botherers REVEREND AND THE MAKERS, who ive seen twice now at T in the Park and both times there has seemed to be a ludicrous number of people huddled into the tent to dance themselves mental to the Revs infectious tunes, which include the excellent HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD.

   Got Mark Ronsons VERSION album and well as debut cds from THE RAKES and THE RAPTURE.

  You should try and get you hands on the recent cd by RILO KILEY called ‘UNDER THE BLACKLIGHT’ as its very good.

  Theres best of;s from singing legend SMOKEY ROBINSON, 70s rockers RAINBOW and REO SPEEDWAGON, 90s rockers REEF (its your letters!!) and ex-Van Halen front man DAVE LEE ROTH. The guy is crazy as a brush and you should definetely give his book a read, CRAZY FROM THE HEAT.

  Got a cd by RIVAL SCHOOLS and the song USED FOR GLUE is a personnel favourite, and a cd from the RAPHAELS which features the late, great Big Country frontman Stuart Adamson.

 A best of from the RAILWAY CHILDREN, who only ever had one hit single with the gorgeous EVERY BEAT OF THE HEART, and the debut album by scotlands THE RIVER DETECTIVES which i luckily found in one of my many visits to the charity shops.

 Theres the mad as hell solo album by Dexys Midnight Runners leader Kevin Rowland, which was filled with bizarre cover versions, and also featured him on the cover with a pink dress on, lipstick, suspenders…..the lot!

Theres no point mentioning RELISH (whoops! i just did) beacause i dont know who the hell they are.

  “Ive never seen this before in my life officer, it was planted there!”

Published in: on November 12, 2008 at 2:06 pm  Leave a Comment  


In what has to be one of the craziest stories ive heard for a while, BATMAN BEGINS and THE DARK KNIGHT director Chris Nolan and film studio Warners are being, apprantly, sued by Huseyin Kalkan, the mayor of a turkish southeastern town called BATMAN.

 He says that the town are due royalties from 2008s biggest grossing film THE DARK KNIGHT because the cities name was used without permission stating that “there is only one BATMAN in the world!”

  Does that mean that if this ever gets anywhere near a courtroom that Warners will have to role out Christian Bale, Michael keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney and even Adam West to prove this man is clearly insane and that their is actually ‘MORE than one BATMAN in the world’?

  Maybe this is the guy who sent THE JOKER into Gotham City to create havoc and chaos in the recent film and hes just gearing himself up for a role as a bad guy when the next BATMAN film comes around.

  A Turkish villian, now that would be delightful!

We’ll just have to wait and see.

 Mayor Kalkan is currently working on finding evidence that the turkish Batman predates Bob Kane’s 1939 creation of the character.

 It has the makings of the craziest lawsuit ever which will no doubt, somewhere down the line, have someone thinking that this would make a great storyline for a film. Well it couldnt be any worse than BATMAN AND ROBIN.

 Tune in next week as we near the end of the long running battle between the Scottish city of Dundee and australian actor Paul Hogan, where the town has for years claimed that the stars films have had a damaging effect of their economy and tourism.

 And as the new slogan for the City proudly proclaims…………………………





Published in: on November 12, 2008 at 7:31 am  Leave a Comment  


  This could be one of my shortest entries yet as Q is made up from about half a dozen cds scattered between QUEEN, QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE, and FINLEY QUAYE.

  Finley Quayes debut album ‘MAVERICK A STRIKE’ was a fine record, as far as i can remember, although he did seem to go a little mental after all the immediate success he received from the early hit singles.

   Im left with two cds from QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE, after my copy of SONGS FOR THE DEAF did a runner. They are RATED R and LULLABIES TO PARALYSE, of which i had been enjoying playing EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT YOU ARE INSANE in the Cavern recently, before it shut down. And it was nice of someone who picked the song one friday night to say that this track reminded them of me.

 That leaves us with QUEEN which includes their first GREATEST HITS collection, A KIND OF MAGIC cd, which featured most of the songs that appeared in the film HIGHLANDER and MADE IN HEAVEN, the cd that they put out after Freddie had died and used unfinished vocals and stuff to finish the album off.

 Now Freddie had a very unique voice but there was one occassion when i attempted and in a weird bizarre way, succeeded in handling singing a Queen song.

  It was one time on our many visits to Dunoon for the Cowal Games  (the biggest pipe band competition in the world) that i ended up sticking my name up to sing BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY. For a change it was a glorious day and they had moved the karaoke from one of the local pubs out onto the square down by the front. It was a great setting looking onto the water and there were hundreds of people scattered everywhere, enjoying the festivites of the weekend.

   I belted into my over the top rendition on this song and by the time i got to the head shaking Waynes World moment, i was delighted when everyone sitting around watching me sing joined in.

  Once i had finished i left the stage to deafening applause and roars of laughter as my friends and many others fought hard to wipe the tears from their eyes. One old man stopped me as i headed back to my friends and took my hand and shook it vigorusly exclaiming in total disbelief that ‘that was the most amzing thing ive ever heard son”!

 My mum and dad had been visiting the Games for the day and as the ferry they were on was approaching Dunoon, my mum had muttered something to my dad about ‘would you listen to the racket that persons making trying to sing’ with which my dad replied ‘you do know thats scott thats singing, dont you?’

Published in: on November 11, 2008 at 1:50 pm  Leave a Comment  


Almost half this section is taken up with just two artists, Elvis Presley and Prince, and if you count all the double and triple cds then theres well over 20 cds from each of them.

  Ive basically been brought up with Elvis since the moment i was born, when i was almost christened Elvis but my parents chickened out at the last minute. Must be something genetic as i had mad thoughts of calling Jodie RIO when she was born. My mum was a massive fan of the King and im told she took me when i was still in my pram to the cinema anytime one of his pictures were showing.

   Now most of his pictures were nothing more than scenes for him to sing in, but his very early films showed a promise of things that would never come to be, especially in JAILHOUSE ROCK and KING CREOLE. Colonel Tom Parker steered him away from roles that would have been interesting to say the least if he had taken them on. WEST SIDE STORY, A STAR IS BORN and MIDNIGHT COWBOY were amongst the films that were offered to Elvis but, for one reason or another, were never to be.

  My collection covers most areas of elvis’s career from the early first recordings and his gospel records, through his classic 50s material, his 60s singles and movie tracks, and his las vegas 70s days. And he stiil remains one of the best voices around, even though he left the building just over 30 years ago, and he could sing a shopping list and make it sound exciting.

 Prince is quite simply a living musical genius who has continued to make music and survive in the music industry on his own terms. His record label went mental with the amount of stuff he was releasing way back in the 80s, even though he seemed to be firing hit songs onto a conveyer belt at a rapid speed and then batting them out into the park on one classic album after another (DIRTY MIND, CONTROVERSY,1999, PURPLE RAIN, AROUND THE WORLD IN A DAY,PARADE,  SIGN OF THE TIMES, LOVESEXY and BATMAN were all released during the 1980s).

   He simply stopped calling himself Prince and saying that artist was dead and so he was no longer tied to the record companies contract. Even when he was calling himself The Artist Formely Known As Prince, he released a song called MY NAME IS PRINCE! Genius and madness are two words that were invented for Prince.

  I managed to get tickets for the opening night of his 21 date residency at the London O2 arena last year and from flying down first thing in the morning, drinking in various random places all over london and finally seeing the gig, every minute was a total drunken joy for myself and colin. Even if we did miss the first 15 minutes or so cos we were too busy at the bar trying to down massively large tequilas. And even though he kicked off with Purple Rain, i feel it would have been a bit of a anti-climax to finally hear this song live after i have done so many ‘unique’ live interpretations of this song while strangling a guitar at various random moments in my partying adventures.

  The gig was excellent, although its the highest ive ever been up at a gig, and kept thinking i was going to fall over the balcony. Colin cant seem to remember going to the bar when we were up there, although i can assure him that both of us went on quite a few occassions and the next day he struggled to remember even half a dozen songs from the night before. The guy beside me at one point said that it was great to be sitting beside people who were enjoying themselves, just singing and dancing away and i responded by telling him to give me a big giant hug, as i more than likely would never see him again!

 Theres 7 PRIMAL SCREAM cds in my collection and also seen the band on 3 occassions. At the first T in the Park back in 94 when the headlined on the Sunday night and we were all dancing around, in our shorts, in the pissing rain like happy maniacs, and also at this years T in the Park where they once again headlined on the Sunday night, this time in the King Tuts Wah Wah Hut tent. They were amazing this summer and it was an excellent way to round off the festival and Primal Scream were at the rockin best. Bobby Gillespies children were even joining in on the act, where they could be seen, standing at the side of the stage, headphones on to try and muffle some of the deafening noise and marraccas in their hands dancing in time with their dad as he happily sang about sex, drugs and rock n roll!

   Also saw them at the Exhibition Centre a few years ago just before christmas where colin excelled himself. When the band started playing Swaztika Eyes, colin got a hold of Ashleys leather gloves, squeezed them on and then shot to the front of the stage where he drunkenly and nazily waved to anyone on stage who may have been unexpectedly looking in his direction. He was also shouting at Bobby and Mani to grab their attention to tell them that there was a party back at his bit later that night and both of them were more than welcome. If they guys heard this invitation they never turned up, and probably a wise move as no matter how rock n roll these guys are, a night in irvine would probably kill them. We rounded off with colin comically taunting all the Zuton fans that happened to be sharing a train with us on our journey back to Irvine.

 Got 6 cds from PREFAB SPROUT, four each from PEARL JAM and PULP and 3 from THE PRETENDERS.

  Theres best of’s and studio albums from the PET SHOP BOYS, TOM PETTY AND THE HEARTBREAKERS and the PROCLAIMERS as well as 2 cds each from THE POWER STATION and MARTI PELLOW (yeah i know, i have no shame!).

  The rest is made up from single cd entries from ROBERT PALMER, who was also, for a little while, the lead vocalist with the Power Station, an 80s supergroup that included himself, John and Andy Taylor from Duran Duran and drummer with legendary 70s dance group Chic, Tony Thompson. Ive recently clicked onto the fact that Robert Palmers biggest hit ADDICTED TO LOVE, owed more than a little, to the sound and time that he spent in the Power Station. So he obviously thought he could take the basic idea and run with it on his own, and i suppose for a little while this worked for him.

  Theres the POGUES greatest hits, and it was amazing to catch these guys at this years T in the Park. Coming on before the main act in the tent that night, Ian Brown, everyone kinda knew that Shane Macgowan would probably have had a few drinks in him by the time he hit the stage. And boy, we were’nt disappointed. He seemed to stumble on someway through the second song and seemed oblivious to anything that the guitarist was trying to say into his ear. It was hilarious to watch the band continually change tempo as shane had already given up hope of keeping any sort of timing going and he gloriously finished off a frenzied FIESTA by repeatedly banging a silver tray over his head. What a legend!

 Theres also a best of from the PIXIES, who i saw 3 or 4 years ago when they reformed and played at T, the debut album from PROUD MARY, a favourite group of Noel Gallaghers and one of the few that ive seen at King Tuts Wah Wah Hut in Glasgow, and best of’s from THE POLICE, the PSYCHEDELIC FURS and PINK FLOYD.

PANIC AT THE DISCO were only ever played in the Cavern and the kids seemed to enjoy it but i can assure you ive never been tempted to listen to the cd in the house. Honest!

 I foolishly laugh at the PAPA ROACH and PUDDLE OF MUDD cds i have whenever i come across them, and still feel i may have been shortchanged when parting 49 pence for a cd by the PRESIDENTS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. Even if its the one with the song PEACHES on it, which has the lyrics a 2 year old would probably shake their heads in disgust at….”peaches come in a can/they were put there by a man”. Jesus!

 Im drawing a blank with PURESSENCE, although i’ll get round to giving it a listen before too long and get back to yous on it and the POSIES, which i did listen to a couple of days ago and its okay. Maybe a bit too much with about 15 tracks on the cd, but the Posies are fine in small doses.

 The only thing worthwhile mentioning about the Pigeon Detectives is that jodie pisses herself laughing everytime she hears this name as all she can imagine is these real live pigeons stoating about investigating like mad.

 Finish off here with french band PHOENIX, and their 2000 album UNITED, which should put a happy little smile on you face and have you dancing around your bedroom.

Published in: on November 11, 2008 at 12:53 pm  Leave a Comment  

Alphabetisize!..O…possibly for Oh Dear!

 Starting off with Oasis, ive got all their cds apart from the newest one which i havent got round to getting, yet. I genuinely love the band and the comical crazy gallagher brothers, although that didnt stop us walking by the tent they were playing in at the very first T in the Park back in 94 to go and see Crowded House on the main stage. Well they were offering us the sight on getting some of the crowd to try and make a human pyramid! I did finally get to see them live last week and it was rather good, playing a bunch of my favourite oasis songs, i left very happy indeed. They’re never gonna reinvent the wheel or get close to DEFINETELY MAYBE or even (WHATS THE STORY) MORNING GLORY? but the world is definetely a more colourful place with them in it.

 Four OFFSPRING cds. FOUR!!!!!!! I can only apologise. And theres 3 from 60s singing legend ROY ORBISON.

 I did have a lot more than two OCEAN COLOUR SCENE cds, but thats all i seem to have left now. Their heyday off big album sales may be well behind them now but they’re still a massive live draw in Scotland and could easily play anywhere and make it a sell out. I still think that if they ever wanted to try and become really massive again that they should try and get legendary soul singer BILLY OCEAN to join them. I would be right down the front for tickets to see any gig by BILLY OCEAN COLOUR SCENE!

 Got the first two cds from ORDINARY BOYS, although didnt bother with the last one as it all seemed to go horriby wrong after the whole Big Brother fiasco. I did see them at T in the Park once just after the release of their first album and almost saw them again at the barrowlands. Myself, heather and jackilyn all had tickets to go up and see them but due to some mad railwork between Irvine and Glasgow meaning that it would have taken us ages to get up there and possibly wouldnt have made it back a descision was quickly made to just bugger off to Pitchers Bar and get totally pished. Its the best gig ive never been to!

 Got best of’s from 80s groups OMD, who have just enjoyed a successful 30th anniversay tour, and ORANGE JUICE, who are apparantly getting back together for a few gigs.

 Got a nice wee mini album from a group called OBI called ‘THE MAGIC LAND OF RADIO’ which you should try and check out if you can actually find it anywhere.

 Not only have i got MARK OWENs, from TAKE THAT, solo album, but ive actually seen the tiny fucker play live! And if thats not bad enough my credibility will fly right out the window when i tell you it was when he was supporting WET WET WET at their gig at PARKHEAD back in the 90s. And that was the fourth time i had seen WET WET WET. I know, i should stop talking right now. This is probably too much shit at the one time for any sane person to take in. So i’ll leave it at that for the time being, but rest assured theres plenty of WET WET WET coming up before this journey has ended.

 Oh, and while im on a roll, theres a greatest hits of THE OSMONDS here as well. No wait, come back, theres actually a couple of great tracks on here. Theres been a few times ive played CRAZY HORSES over the years, and looked at the totally amazement on peoples faces when i tell them that its actually the Osmonds that are doing the song. Or when ive played ONE BAD APPLE and people would swear blind it was actually the JACKSON 5 that were singing.

 Ok guys, its time to start scratching your heads as we finish off with cds from OOBERMAN (they actually had a couple of minor hits back in the 90s), OSLO (no, me neither), OUT OF MY HAIR (im actually listening to it right now and once again total amnesia rushes over me about how i have come to have this cd in my collection) and a group called ORLANDO. They were apparantly one of the groups tipped to do something around the time a type of music called romo was quietly whispered about. Its probably better for everyone that this scene never took off in anyway.

  Im off to hang my head in shame and give eveyone a breather before we get ready for the letter P, which i promise you has a fine collection of music sittiing waiting to be unleashed.

Published in: on November 10, 2008 at 9:26 pm  Leave a Comment  


 Not a lot to report for the letter N as theres not a lot happening in this section.

 Theres four cds from Nirvana, just the usual ones, NEVERMIND, IN UTERO, UNPLUGGED and a best of. When i first started dj-ing with colin back in the mid 90s in the Cavern we did have a drunken tendency to dedicate RAPE ME from IN UTERO to any unsuspecting females who found themselves at the bar ordering a drink when the track came on. In fact one guy actually came up one time and asked if we could dedicate that track to his girlfriend. I dread to think what he would have wanted us to play if they had been in when they were splitting up. NWAs ‘A BITCH IS A BITCH’ also raised a few eyebrows when we played it for the women in the pub. I feel our sense of humour has always been a required taste and it would take certain people a while, if ever, to realise that we were only having a laugh.

  Got the last couple of releases from New Order as well as the double singles collection and the earlier SUBSTANCE collection. Ive already told you earlier about how amazing their set was at T in the Park a few years ago, so i wont go over old news, although before, during and afterwards was all full of hilarious fun. And how colin managed to pick that huge woman up in the crowd without doing himself or her an injury, we will never know.

 Theres a couple of cds from the NEW POWER GENERATION, which is basically Prince with the band that he had after he was no longer involved with the Revolution.

   And theres a cd from the NEUROTIC OUTSIDERS, a kind of bizarre supergroup that was made up of Duff and Matt Sorum from Guns and Roses, John Taylor from Duran Duran and Steve Jones from the Sex Pistols. A glorious ramshackle of a noise which isnt nearly as bad as you may think it is with all that are involved.

 Finishing off with the only album release from the NEW RADICALS, ‘MAYBE YOU’VE BEEN BRAINWASHED TOO’. And although nothing comes close to the timeless classic of ‘YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE’ its still a pretty good album.

   And if you thought that this group just had one hit and faded off into obscurity, thats not really the story. Mainman Gregg Alexander was disillusioned with the whole thing of having his single go global so ended up disbanding the group and simply became a gun for hire, writing songs for other artists and just sitting back and letting the money role in.

  And if you listen closely to ‘INNER SMILE’ by Texas and ‘LOVIN EACH DAY’ by Ronan Keating you’ll find the soul, spirit and basically the tune of ‘YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE’ running through them.

Published in: on November 10, 2008 at 8:22 pm  Leave a Comment  

Sigur Ros @ Carling Academy, 5th November 2008

I was left speechless after Sigur Ros’s most recent gig in Glasgow at the Carling Academy last thursday night. It was a truly amazing and magical affair from one of the few bands around at the moment you could genuinely describe as original and special.

  More successfully experimental than Radiohead and, at times, bigger sounding than Coldplay they are simply a treat for the ears.

  These guys make beautiful music that doesnt sound like its from this world and i always imagine that this is what it would sound like on meeting angels after you die and have them serenade you all the way to heaven.

  I dont feel i could do the gig justice with even attempting to try and review it as, for most of the time, my mind was freely wondering about all over the place, like i was stuck in some weird musical hypnotic trance, so ive found a great review from the guys at which sums the whole experience up beautifully.

“SIGUR ROS exists in The Pop Cop’s world in a way that no other band does. We have absolutely no idea what most of the Icelanders’ songs are called without looking them up since the Sigur Ros listening experience invariably involves putting on their albums from start to finish. A rare thing these days.

The band have done away with their string and brass members for this tour, but it’s testament to the holy racket these four guys can make all on their own that the lack of orchestration was really only noticeable at Glasgow’s Carling Academy in just two songs in the two-hour set, Hoppípolla and Inní Mér Syngur Vitleysingur.

They open with the eerie restraint of Svefn-G-Englar, which it’s easy to forget was the Sigur Ros signature tune for a good five years pre-Planet Earth. Compare that to their latest album’s euphoric crowd-pleaser, Við Spilum Endalaust, which finds the group traversing comfortably in three-and-a-half-minute pop shoes.

This new-found confidence extends to the once painfully shy Jónsi Birgisson, who at last seems to be coming out of his shell as a frontman. He encourages the crowd to join in the “oh-oh-oh-ohs” during Með Blóðnasir and gets an enthusiastic response to his request for some flamenco handclapping on Gobbledigook, easily the most memorable song of the night as Icelandic post-rock support band For A Minor Reflection are invited to the stage to pound a few extra drums before the ceiling bursts open in an explosion of technicolour ticker-tape.

The gig is full of such gratifying crescendos. Festival morphs into a rock instrumental, cymbals crashing gleefully, and Orri Dýrason’s drumming speeds up so fast during Hafsól that a bulky speaker shakes off its ledge and topples onto the back of his shoulders. He doesn’t even flinch.

Out of the noise comes touching beauty. The three-way piano/xylophone intro to Sæglópur is heavenly, while All Alright is afforded a reverential pin-drop silence from 2,500 devotees.

That soon makes way for the epic, 12-minute finale of Popplagið (Untitled #8). Bassist Georg Hólm drives the staccato rhythm, Orri batters his instrument as though he’s plugged in and Jónsi closes his eyes and howls into the microphone before dramatically sweeping his guitar to the front of the stage looking like a cross between a World War II general and Dracula.

As the final note is struck, beads of sweat are dripping down the necks of all four guys. They looked exhausted. Sigur Ros haven’t even remembered to tell the crowd they’ve just played their last song, but their exit is swiftly followed by a final return to the stage for a farewell bow. My god, they deserve it.”


the setlist for that night is listed below………..


Ný Batterí
Við Spilum Endalaust
Með Blóðnasir
Inní Mér Syngur Vitleysingur
All Alright

Published in: on November 10, 2008 at 12:16 pm  Leave a Comment  


 Another healthy, schizophrenic collection of music can be found in the M section.

 Kicking off with the Manic Street Preachers, one of my favourite bands and, of course, ive got all their albums as well as the 10th anniversay triple disc version of EVERYTHING MUST GO. I also had the same kind of thing for the HOLY BIBLE, but at the moment that has currently taken up lodgings at big stevies bit. Maybe get it back in time for the next anniversary.

   Seen the band play quite a few times now, they even played down the Beach Park in Irvine one time when the still did the Radio One roadshow down there. James always makes it look so effortlessly easy when hes up on stage and after their recent return to form with SEND AWAY THE TIGERS im eagerly looking forward to next years new album which apparantly will consist of lyrics left from Richey before his dissappearance on the 1st february 1995. It should be interesting as Nicky Wire has said it’ll be like what should have been the follow up to the HOLY BIBLE if Richey had still been around with also some quieter, more acoustic type stuff in the vein of SMALL BLACK FLOWERS THAT GROW IN THE SKY.

    Ive got 9 Marillion cds, and believe me, theres a shitload more out there to be bought if i was crazy enough. Im more a fan of their earlier stuff when FISH was still the frontman, and back in the 80s i must have played MISPLACED CHILDHOOD and SCRIPT FOR A JESTERS TEAR to death. Although CLUTCHING AT STRAWS could well be the bands, and Fishs, finest moment. They did successfully replace him though, and have continued, with no care to the charts at all, to healthily tour, sell cds, write, record and release new stuff on a regular basis. Theyve even got an album called ANORAKNOPHOBIA as a kind of reference to the almost trainspotting type religious following they have from their fans.

  Another favourite is Mansun and once again ive got the lot. The 80s influenced debut ATTACK OF THE GREY LANTERN, the fantastically bonkers SIX, LITTLE KIX, a best of and the KLEPTOMANIA triple cd that included demos for what was meant to have been thier, never recorded fourth album, along with b sides, rarities and live version of some of their classic tunes. Managed to see them live twice, and even fell over a bemused couple sitting on the ground during their set at V97, while i was drunkenly and vigorusly half way through my air guitar solo.

   The bands music has grown better with age and im patiently waiting for the time when paul draper decides its time for this band to return and be more appreciated than they were the last time they were around.

 Ex smiths singer MORRISSEY and space rockers MUSE are both on 4 cds each.

 Ive got 3 cds by the MULL HISTORICAL SOCIETY, which was basically just a name for scottish singer/songwriter Colin Macintyre to get his music out into the world.

   Myself and jodie saw him once, doing a small, short acoustic set in Fopp in Glasgow to promote his THIS IS HOPE album back in 2004. The songs sounded great even when stripped down to just an acoustic guitar and he was a very nice and pretty witty guy as well. Jodie just stood in amazement, watching this guy sing his songs with PECULIAR becoming one of her favourites at that time.

   At one point Colin threw his guitar pick in the direction of jodie, for her to catch, but in the process some maniac dived from the small crowd and wrestled the pick, from no one, off the ground. Jodie didnt seem to be bothered, and as i was whispering IDIOT under my breath at this, well ‘idiot’, colin asked for his assistant to get some badges out and said to make sure that jodie got some. And after he had finished his set he shouted her over, talked to her for a minute then signed whatever it was she was holding at the time. This was an excellent gesture from the man and a nice little introduction into the music world for jodie.

  Theres also a trio of cds from irish singer/songwriter legend VAN MORISSON. Saw him once at the Clyde Auditorium, or the Armadillo as everyone seems to call it, with an overexcited chris, who scarred the shit out of this couple when we were half way up in the lift and it was announced that Van was about to come on stage. It was as if he was going to challange the lift to a fight, or a ‘square go’, if it didnt move its arse and get us elevated to our seats. Got there eventually and i have to say, although chris is a massive fan of the Man, he seemed to fail to recognise when he came on stage. It may have had something to do with all the drink we had beforehand though, as i found it hard to focus on anything on the stage from where we were sitting. I even found out to my amazement that Chris Farlowe was a white man, but also that he was suffering from some sort of musical dislexia, when he came on to join Van Morrison for a duet of his classic tune GLORIA. If you’re not falmiliar with this, then at one point during the song Van passionately belts out the word Gloria, one letter at a time. So it was quite hilarious to see Chris Farlowe having trouble with this six letter word. God help you if you ever end up in a game of scrabble with him.

 And the less said about the three Matchbox 20 cds i have, the better.

 Theres a handful of artists with 2 cds each in my collection, including PAUL McCARTNEY, TOM McRAE, MERCURY REV, MEATLOAF, MARILYN MANSON and MONACO, who were a side project band by New Order bassist Peter Hook who, amazingly, sounded like NEW ORDER.

   THE MAGIC NUMBERS, who although look like they’re members of the Manson family and are big Guns n Roses fans, actually produce some beautiful catchy pop tunes. MOBY, who i suppose going to see live, especially during when the PLAY album was out, would be like going to see TV Adverts play a gig. Now im not talking about a group called TV Adverts, but actually talking about real adverts that appear on the TV, as i think every track from that album went on to promote one thing or another on television.

 THE MIGHTY WAH! (who are essentially just Pete Wylie) are represented by a double ‘best of’ and the wonderfully over produced, over the top and over expensive SONGS OF STRENGTH AND HEARTBREAK.

  Theres a triple cd of slightly more than you would ever really need to have by crazy 80s hit makers MADNESS and well as a few cds each from rocker turned bluesman, GARY MOORE and THE MUSIC.

 Single cd entries from the following include best ofs from MADONNA and GEORGE MICHAEL, a man who could be the face of public toilets with the amount of advertising he seems to do for them. A collection of ENNIO MORRICONEs finest western theme tunes such as A FEW DOLLARS MORE and THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN as well as many more great film scores as well as collections form the MISSION, JOHN COUGAR MELLENCAMP, soul legend CURTIS MAYFIELD and crooner DEAN MARTIN!

  Theres this years excellent debut album from MGMT, which is a glorious poppy pyschedlic affair with slight loving nods towards Prince. 

The LOVELESS cd from MY BLOODY VALENTINE, which i found in a charity shop for £2! as well as the classic live album KICK OUT THE JAMS by psychedelic blues garage rockers MC5 (motor city five).

 I dont know why i have a cd by JOHN MAYER, and i dont even think ive listened to it. Same goes for Lene Marlin. Now im sure i must have thought that her single SITTING DOWN HERE was quite catchy in a throughaway poppy kind of way, but there was no need to go and get the whole album! And ive got a MOCK TURTLES cd, when all you really need is the one song, CAN U DIG IT?

  Theres a MONSTER MAGNET cd. Apparantly this group once laced everyones drinks at a gig they were playing with some kind of drug, and i feel on some occassions that certain bands must have done this to me as it would be the only explanation as to why i was actually watching and listening to these bands.

 Ive got an EDDIE MURPHY cd which doesnt sound anywhere as funny as it should, unless you count it as being unintentionally funny and the first MARS VOLTA album which ive never listened to from start to finish. Like one of their never ending solos, i feel that theres not enough time left in my life to try and make it through one of their albums. And theres a cd by another ex smiths member, this time is guitar hero Johnny Marr, with his band at the time THE HEALERS.

  Theres a bruce springsteen inspired cd by MARAH, the ska punk sounds of THE MIGHTY MIGHTY BOSSTONES, hair rock from MOTLEY CRUE as well as stuff from groups you probably have never heard off and wonder where the hell do i get information on this stuff from, such as MONTROSE AVENUE, MOVER and MIDTOWN.

 Ha! the debut album by MENSWEAR, who were at one time meant to be the saviours of britpop and 90s music as well as the future of it. None of this came to be, but i still take mischievous delight when this cd may drunkenly get put on. Well its not as if youre going to stick it on stone cold sober, are you?

  Theres the second cd by MAXIMO PARK, their debut is once again a casualty of the drunkeness and anarchy that was friday nights at the Cavern and the debut cd by the Maccabees who we caught a little 2 years ago at T in the Park. I thought they were fine although colin made his feelings known by bizarrely sticking his fingers up at the band in protest at his dislike for their music.

 Theres the recent cd from MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE were they threw everything from Queen, Guns n Roses, Pink Floyd, Kiss into a big mixer and came out infectiously catchy THE BLACK PARADE.

  Alanis Morisettes big selling debut JAGGED LITTLE PILL, which for years i havent been able to bring myself  anywhere near close to listening to  again, but seem to be mellowing with time and could probably enjoy a couple of tunes from this album now as well as the only, well as far as i know, cd released from MY VITRIOL. Who i saw live once, supporting MANSUN, and had one gloriously catchy song called ALWAYS YOUR WAY.

 Finally rounding off this section with ex suede guitarist Bernard Butler, dueting with the deliriously over the top vocalist David Mcalmont, IAN McNABB, who used to be the singer with 80s band the ICICLE WORKS and lastly and probably most leastly the debut cd by….ahem…..Richard Marx!

  Im sure if i tried to tell you that it wasnt as bad as you may think in an 80s american  over produced poppy rocky kind of way, that you wouldnt believe me, so i really dont think i’ll bother and i’ll stick both my hands up in the air and shout ‘GUILTY’ to having this apparant atrocity to music.

Published in: on November 10, 2008 at 9:19 am  Leave a Comment  


    If i was getting graded with each letter of the alphabet according to my music collection then L would probably be more like an F for failed!

  It starts off fine with 5 cds from the Lemonheads, of which A SHAME ABOUT RAY and COME ON FEEL should definetely be in any true music fans collections. Evan Dando has had a bit of a rocky ride in the big bad world of music over the years, but when he puts his mind to it he can make delicioulsy gorgeous music. Although one piece of music which looks like it will never see the light of day is a song apparantly called PURPLE PARROLLAGRAM, which he wrote with Noel Gallagher in one of his crazier times.

   Led Zepplin are healthly represented with LED ZEPPLIN IV, the double album PHYSICAL GRAFFITTI. a treble live album and the most recent best of, MOTHERSHIP which is a double cd of hits as well as a dvd of some of their best live performances. Phew! And if that doesnt sound exhausting enough, just think of the version of MOBY DICK on that live cd, which lasts that long that one time i stuck it on my mini cd player as i left my work in kilmarnock and the fucker was still drumming away as the bus rolled into irvine!

 I have no excuses or alibis for why i have 3 cds by the LIGHTHOUSE FAMILY. I think im the one that should be lifted.

  Artists with 2 cds each are HUEY LEWIS AND THE NEWS (and the two that i have of them are hardly what could be considered as any of their classics), the LIGHTENING SEEDS, the LA’s (yeah i know they only ever released one album, but there was a recent LIVE AT THE BBC cd released of some of their stuff) and LAMBCHOP.

  Also got a couple of LOVE AND MONEY cds, i did have more but as usual theyve disappeared into the big bad world out there. Anyway, ALL YOU NEED IS…. and DOGS IN THE TRAFFIC are still peppered with some great moments.  YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL is simply just that, a beautiful song and the best way to experience WINTER is to be gazing out of a train window passing through a snow filled landscape. And if you get a chance check out some of ex lead singer, JAMES GRANTs, solo stuff. I wish i could still, but most of those cds are no longer with me either.

   The rest of the L section is made up from cds by LOVE (Arthur Lees classic 60s psychedelic band), and  the MARK LANEGAN BAND (very good stuff, and this is a very busy man as hes sung with QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE and SCREAMING TRESS as well as releasing a couple of amazingly good duet albums with ex belle and sebastian singer Isobell Campbell).

   A JOHN LENNON best of and a great album from SHELBY LYNNE, simply called ‘IM SHELBY LYNNE’, which has a soulful alt-country feel to it.

  When was it ever cool to like anything as shite as LIMP BIZKIT? and LINKIN PARK as well. You would be forgiven for thinking that i spent my mid 20s stoating about irvine on a skateboard, which wasnt the case.

   Ive no idead why i bought cds by australian group the LIVING END or welsh group LEAVES, and i cant even remember when the last time was that i listened to any of these.

    LOSTPROPHETS arent that bad, and im sure the only reason i bought any of their stuff was because they got their name from a famous Duran Duran bootleg cd. Oh, and also, they did a pretty good cover version of A VIEW TO A KILL.

   LITTLE ANGELS were good, in their time, and the lead singer is now currently fronting the newly reformed GUN.

   I would like to say that LONGVIEW had one really good song on their cd, but the fact that i cant remember what it was called doenst really say a lot for the song or the group, does it?

  Im sure bargain bins were made purely for my pleasure, and ive spent far too much time scouring about looking for new ones, as CYNDI LAUPER and LETTER TO CLEO will verify.

Published in: on November 6, 2008 at 12:19 pm  Leave a Comment  


After almost 15 years of following Oasis as both a fan of their music and unique brand of comedy (everything thats came out of the gallaghers mouths has been comedy gold) i finally got to see them live for the first time last night.
Mixing new songs from the recent and well recieved new album DIG OUT YOUR SOUL along with sing-a-long classics, the band were on fine form.
There was no arguing from the brothers and not a great deal of talking either, obviously just leaving it to the music to do all the talking.

Support band SARGEANT were pretty unimpressive, and it now seems that anybody in the vicinity of Dundee and in a band have to try and sound like the View. God help us all!

Oasis came on, promptly, a couple of minutes before 9 to the strains of their instrumental track FUCKING IN THE BUSHES, before lauching into the first mass sing-a-long of the night, ROCK N ROLL STAR.
A lively LYLA followed then they brought us right up to date with current single THE SHOCK OF LIGHTNING.

‘This is an old one!’ announced Liam before the T. Rex riffs of CIGARETTES AND ALCOHOL had the crowd, once again, singing at the tops of their voices.

A fast paced MEANING OF SOUL was followed by a couple more new songs, TO BE WHERE THERE’S LIFE and WAITING FOR THE RAPTURE. As i havent heard the new album yet, these tunes just passed me by, and ive no idea whether the were good, bad or whatever.

Noel then took lead vocals for one of his great b-sides, THE MASTERPLAN, and fought to be heard over the deafening crowd, shouting the words back to him.

Liam dedicated the lovely SONGBIRD to his wife, the epic SLIDE AWAY to all the good looking guys in the building and a storming version of MORNING GLORY to all the fit looking glasgow girls.

Another new song, AINT GOT NOTHING, sung by Noel, and if i remember correctly, sounded quite promising on first listen. He then continued with the singing duties as he fired straight into another crowd partisipating classic THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING IDLE.

Liams turn again, and time for the much talked about song he wrote for the new album, I’M OUTTA HERE. Its a slow burning, future Oasis classic.

Not that they could get any crazier, the crowd went mental when liam simply said ‘wonderwall’ into the mic before noel starting strumming the instantly recognisable classic. And they followed this with a surprisingly fresh sounding SUPERSONIC.

After leaving the stage they shortly returned for an encore that kicked off with a stripped down version of DONT LOOK BACK IN ANGER, with noel on acoustic and Gem on electric guitar.
Although the night was basically one big massive sing-a-long from start to finish, this was the big one, with Noel sometimes just drifting away from the mic and letting the crowd finish the words, in unison. Excellent stuff.
Yet another new song, FALLING DOWN,which sounded great and the guys could do no wrong by the time they smashed into CHAMPAGNE SUPERNOVA.

They finished off with a song that they famously played 15 years ago when the forced themselves onto the bill at King Tuts Wah Wah Hut and also into Alan McGees conciousness, I AM THE WALRUS.

1 hour and 40 minutes after taking the stage the band left to the sound of guitar distortion and also 10,000 deleriously happy fans, who had escaped, for a little while at least, into the world of oasis, where anybody can dream of being rock n roll stars and singing about the simple pleasures like drinking alcohol and having a fag can make the world a better place.

The guys are tighter and sounding better than ever, and it definetely says something about a band when they can leave out a song such as LIVE FOREVER from their set list, and have people seem not to notice this till afterwards, simply because theyre too busy singing at the top of thier voices to the many other classics they have on display.

Noel sings ‘please dont put your life in the hand/of a rock and roll band’ but when they’re as rocking and as fun as these guys i really couldnt think of anything better to do.

Published in: on November 6, 2008 at 10:56 am  Leave a Comment  


 Kicking off K with the Killers, and one of my favourite groups of the last 4 or 5 years.

  “They’re the new Duran Duran” i tell anybody who dares to listen to me, and theres plenty of 80s references in their music to back this up.

  Ive seen them live 4 times now, and they get better with each performance. Although last year, at their headlining spot at T in the Park, i was singing along that hard that each time i stopped, in between songs for a breather, i had to fight off a raging headache, which only subsided when i started singing again. I actually had to get some woman in the crowd to give me a couple of paracetamols to ease the pain.

   Who says its a bad thing to be able to get drugs at a festival?

 Also seen the Kings of Leon a number of times now, and although my copy of their first album is long gone, ive got the rest of their stuff. This is another band who get better with each thing that they do. And its one of the few groups i dont feel paranoid with when i attempt to sing along to their songs. The main reason being that I, along with possibly nearly everybody else out there, havent got a clue what the hell Caleb is singing about.

  Now ive never been the best at remembering lyrics to songs, i mean, i dont know the words to at least a million songs!, but with the Kings of Leon, you could be singing along to anything.

    Also got 3 cds by Kula Shaker, including their dodgy second album which they foolishly released on Hitlers birthday.

   They played a blistering set 2 years ago at T in the Park, declaring that they were ‘back to save the planet!” which included a 10 minute rocking HEY DUDE.

   We happily and drunkenly staggered back to our tents that night thinking that they may just be right and that their new album could very well change the world. As long as they didnt name it SCHINDLERS LIST 2!

  Ive got two cds from a guy calling himseLF the KING. The first cd is a work of genius. Called GRAVELANDS, this guy plays the role of Elvis as if he was still alive singing modern day songs buy aritists who have passed away. This means that we get bizarre and amazing covers of songs like ‘COME AS YOU ARE’ by Nirvana, ’20TH CENTURY BOY’ by T. Rex, ‘LOVE WILL TEAR US APART’ by Joy Division, ‘BLOCKBUSTER’ by the Sweet and many more in the unique style of Elvis Presley.

   Ive even caught the guy live, support the Fun Lovin Criminals at the Barrowlands one time, although the idiotic audience, as usual, didnt get what was going on. With them moaning that he wasnt even singing Elvis songs!

  One woman even started throwing drink in his direction onto the stage and when one whizzed by him he stopped singing, started telling her off in his best Elvis impersonation then sung Love Me Tender to her, changing the lyrics to rip the utter pish out off her. It was hilarious and she swiftly moved to the back of the hall. Long live the King.

 Elsewhere ive got a greatest hits by LENNY KRAVITZ, last years mecury music prize winner by the KLAXXONS, and debut albums from THE KOOKS, KAISER CHIEFS, KASABIAN and KEANE.

  Theres a timeless cd of hits by the KINKS and a great cd by ex Danny Wilson singer, Gary Clark, under the name of KING L.

  The dodgy cds pop up in the shape of a best of from KAJAGOOGOO as well as one from KID CREOLE AND THE COCONUTS and well as a muppets cd, entitled KERMIT UNPLUGGED, which featured various member of the muppets singing with real live music stars. A highlight is a completely off his rocker ANIMAL singing WILD THING with, i think, the one and only OZZY OSBOURNE.

Nothing spectacular to round off this section with the remaining cds coming from KINGMAKER (where are they now?), KING ADORA (who really cares where they are now) KINKY MACHINE (Just simply, WHO????) and KENT, one of those dodgy scandanavian groups who sound as if theyve escaped through a loop hole from the 80s, but have one shinning moment with the deliciously U2-esque 747.

Published in: on November 5, 2008 at 12:25 pm  Leave a Comment  


   Elton John is way out in front in this section, christ he’s even hitting double figures, and its not all good.  But amongst all this is MADMAN ACROSS THE WATER, one of his finest albums, featuring LEVON, RAZORFACE and the almost perfect TINY DANCER. A song which now comes with its own ritual whenever its played, which basically involves us grabbing whatever alcohol is in our vicinity and declaring ourselves Golden Gods at the top of our voices, before downing whatever drink we have in our hands.

  BILLY JOEL is on 4 cds, although this guy has had hits throughout his long career, its once again the early stuff that outshines anything else.

   JIMMY EAT WORLD and TOM JONES are on 3 apiece, and the only connection these two have is that on going to see JIMMY EAT WORLD live, a number of years ago on my birthday weekend, i crucified Tom Jones’s ‘IM NEVER GONNA FALL IN LOVE AGAIN’ at a karaoke in the centre of Glasgow. I then had some Rod Steward look-a-like trying to tell me where i had went wrong with my singing, not realising that i was, taking the piss!

 Theres PYSCHOCANDY by the JESUS AND MARY CHAIN as well as a collection of all their singles, in fact ive found two copies, and gave one to jodie saying she could have it if she wanted. She looked at both me and the cd curiously, before tossing it into her pile of music, which included Miley Cyrus, Rhiannah, High School Musical, Mama Mia soundtrack and  Leon jackson (for christs sake!), saying that she would maybe give it a listen to later.

   Other artists on two include the JAM, the cat (or as some people would say, the prat) in the hat JAMIRIQUAI, JET and JJ72. Once again people will be scratching their heads wondering who the hell JJ72 are, never mind why ive got two of their cds. You can probably find them out there somewhere, standing in the middle of a field, guitars blazing and shouting up to the sky “whyyyyyyyyyyyyy wont it snowwwwwwwwwwwwwww?”

 Rounding off another mixed baged selection of artists theres cds from JAMES, JANES ADDICTION, JOY DIVISION, JUNIOR SENIOR (i know! i know! just keep on moving), JEFFERSON AIRPLANE, JOHNNY HATES JAZZ, JELLYFISH, MATHEW JAY, HOLLY JOHNSON, JAPAN and the big bad and insanely mad GRACE JONES. 

   Having lost the THRILLER cd a long time ago in one of my more drunken nights at the Cavern, the only Micheal Jackson cd i now have in my collection is BAD. Quite ironic that the last decent album he released was called BAD and everything thats followed this has been pretty awful.

   It would be far more interesting if he decided to record the Robert Burns poems that, along with fellow looney David Guest, he has apparantly turned into show tunes.  

    Michael Jackson is no longer relevant music wise, and hasnt really been for some time, but the world would be a far duller, if maybe slightly more saner place, if he wasnt around.

Published in: on November 4, 2008 at 11:32 am  Leave a Comment  

Alphabetisize!………I for incredibly short!

This should be short, sweet and very painless. With only 20 cds coming under the letter I, how could anything go wrong?

  Im quite suprised to see that i have 5 Iron Maiden cds. Although, by far, my favourite by a long way has got to be SEVENTH SON OF A SEVENTH SON, which features the insanely catchy ‘CAN I PLAY WITH MADNESS’, as well as other top ten hits, ‘THE EVIL THAT MEN DO’, ‘THE CLAIRVOYANT’ and ‘INFINITE DREAMS’. Bruce Dickinsons voice is, as usual, theatrically over the top, and makes the listening pleasure of this group all the better for it.

 IDLEWILD are on 4 cds. THE REMOTE PART being their most successful of these, although WARNING/PROMISES i feel is a far better album.

  Im told that ive seen this band, briefly live, when they were one of the many scots acts that took part in the Tsunami Charity Gig at the Exhibition Centre a number of years ago. But, like my mate colin, we find it hard to remember a great deal about this night, although it was drunkenly excellent. I also found out that the warning was right about not mixing ear-ache tablets with alcohol. Ive no idea if this could permanently damage your hearing but it definetely makes it a hell of a lot harder to stand up.

 3 cds by INXS and to be honest the best of is the only one here of any note.

  Ive got 2 Billy Idol cds, but sadly, none of them are the Christmas Album that he apparantly recorded a couple of years ago. I havent seen this anywhere, but myself and a few of my friends are sadistically curious about whats actually on it and what is sounds like.

   Cant really imagine Billy Idol with one of those ludicrous xmas sweaters on, standing beside a roaring fire, egg-nog in hand, snarling his way through ‘Chestnuts roasting on an open fire’ or chirping that it was ‘a nice day for a…….white christmas”, but you never know.

  Elsewhere theres solo entries from INTERPOL, THE ISLEY BROTHERS and NATALIE IMBRUGLIA, and blasts from the pasts by IT BITES and ICEHOUSE.

 Finish off this section with INME, or more likely FUCK ME, if i ever get round to sticking it back on my cd player.

Published in: on November 3, 2008 at 10:07 am  Leave a Comment  

Alphabetisize!……….H, for Hit and Miss!

 Onto the letter H and even though this section only contains some 50 odd cds, the phrase ‘you’re entering a world of pain’ may be quite apt.

 No big collections from any one artist, but there is a plethora of variety.

 Human League lead the way with 3 cds. Their classic DARE album, as well as a best of and their more recent SECRETS cd. A fine 80s group who have lasted the test of time and are still touring healthly. One of my happiest memories was seeing them support, but steal the show from, Culture Club at the Exhibition Centre when they had 10, 000 people singing in total harmony to ‘Together In Electric Dreams’. And THE LEBANON is still a misunderstood classic.

 Theres 2 cds each from comedy garage rockers THE HIVES, scottish political funksters HUE AND CRY as well as the one and only WHITNEY HOUSTON.

  Now dont be alarmed, its not as if im some mad patrick bateman psycho  killer in the making, although i do have a love for dodgy 80s music, but i did aquire both these cds from a guy at work for 50 pence each when he was having a clear out and as bargains go, this was a steal.

   Apart from Whitney, the only other great version of THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL has come from SEXUAL CHOCOLATE, or eddie murphy for those not in the know from COMING TO AMERICA. And i dare anyone to argue that I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY is nothing short of pure genius. I even captivated people with my rendition of this song at the Mariboo Bar in Benitsis in Corfu, many years ago.

  Theres also 2 from THE HOUSEMARTINS (their debut LONDON 0, HULL 4, and the fantastically gospel tinged LIVE AT THE BBC). a supergroup in the making as it featured the vocal talents of PAUL HEATON who went on the front the massively successful BEAUTIFUL SOUTH, and also had one NORMAN COOK (aka FATBOY SLIM) on bass.

  HARDCORE SUPERSTAR, a kind off diluted scandanavian Guns n Roses, sit on my shelf with 2, as does the infectiously catchy HOT HOT HEAT. This group had the misfortune of having a single banned from Radio 1, which was called BANDAGES, because it would apparantly upset the fighting troops out in iraq!!

 Ive got both, where are they now, HELL IS FOR HEROES cds as well as the two most recent releases from RICHARD HAWLEY.

  Hopefully youve heard of this guy, or even better heard any one of these cds. COLES CORNER was nominated for the Mercury Music Award a few years ago, and its a delicious piece of music that puts images of postcard filled christmas landscapes soundtracked by late 50s crooners gorgeously lodged into your head while listening to it. The guy has also played guitar, on record and live, with PULP and the LONGPIGS, and also, bizzarely, played guitar on ALL SAINTS number one cover of the RED HOT CHILLI PEPPERS ‘UNDER THER BRIDGE’.

 Now brace yourself as i list, in no real order the rest of the so called music that makes up my colourful musical collection that is united under the letter H.

 JIMI HENDRIX is a very good place to start, and a guy who has been often copied, but very rarely, if ever, bettered. Excuse me, while i kiss the sky!

 And theres PJ HARVEY, who my mate colin once commented whist watching her on the main stage years ago at T in the Park, “hey, she not bad for her age”!

   Now this comment might not sound that bad, especially when she was wearing a bright yellow dress which left little to the imagination at times, but it was only after pondering his statement for a little while and asking what he meant (simply cos shes a few years younger than both mr cassells and myself) that we found out that he thought we were watching PATTI SMITH! T in the Park is not voted the drunkest festival in the world for no reason you know.

  I still dont have any shame in telling anyone that i have HANSONs debut album, its popatastic, and if theres any BON JOVI fans tuning in, stick on track 10, it could sit easily on SLIPPERY WHEN WET, NEW JERSEY or KEEP THE FAITH, no fucking problem.

 The only reason i have a HOT CHOCOLATE cd (and a double one at that) is because one day when I was off my work, i was listening to WEST SOUND (which is one reason to simply just give up on music forever) and they had one of their many phone in competitions. All you had to do was name the year that the three songs they played were from. Not that i would call this cheating, but i checked with my Guinness book of hit singles and phoned in to tell them that it was 1960whatever and was elated to find out i had won a prize. Well elated until this cd came popping through my door. But as HOT CHOCOLATE is far from the worse group i have in my collection, i shouldnt really be moaning.

 Theres the debut solo album from sexy CHARLOTTE HATHERLEY, ex guitarist from ASH, and a flash in the pan love interest from my mate and official living golden god LOCKIE. (well he did shout out that he ‘FUCKING LOVED HER’ in the tent at T in the Park a few years ago).

 NICK HEYWARD pops up twice. One of his dodgy solo efforts as well as his, hey we’ve just been given hellish christmas jumpers lets form a group, other project HAIRCUT 100. Featuring the classic singles FANTASTIC DAY, MY FAVOURITE SHIRT and the timeless LOVE PLUS ONE (which even popped up in the film SEVEN). Even if it was for about seven seconds.

 Scotlands represented by great albums by HORSE and HIPSWAY as well as the HUMPFF FAMILY.

   God, ive even got the MICHAEL HUTCHENCE solo album. You know, the guy that was not only corrupting KYLIE MINOGUE, but was also the lead singer with INXS. He always seemed to like a good time and could always be found hanging around one hotel room or another.

 The HAPPY MONDAYS fucked up masterpiece BUMMED sits proudly in my collection as well as a solo album by the great TERRY HALL, of FUN BOY THREE and more importantly THE SPECIALS, which i can assure you, although im nowhere near the letter S yet. that i have both their cds.

 Once again, just when you guys think ‘hey, scotts on a roll, and this is some pretty impressive shit that hes rhyming of here’, im about to shatter our dreams.

  DEEP BREATH!………………ive got a MORTEN HARKET solo cd! Now, if you dont know who im talking about, i may escape here unscathed, but as ive been drinking a bottle of wine before even contemplating this section of my musical memoirs i very much doubt it, he was the guy who was the lead singer of A-HA!

   Now theres nohing really that wrong with A-ha (NO, really), but i still didnt have to be the one person that gave this guy hope that he may have a solo career.

   Theres a JOOLS HOLLAND cd as well, you know that creepy, ex-SQUEEZE guy, that would come on and bastardize groups songs with his jazz-wanking-piano playing. Although i have to say, he has added a new dimension to the sound of the Stereophnics on this cd.

 The only defence i have for owning a HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH cd is that i made jodie, my daughter, buy me it and in hers and my defence, it did only cost her 49 pence. Im sure, some of yous will tell me ive still been robbed.

 Back to more good stuff, hopefully! Theres the recent,excellent debut from THE HOURS, as well as a deleriously crazy album from HAMMEL ON TRIAL. Also the debut cd from HOPE OF THE STATES, and the first 100 REASONS one as well.

  Ex talk talk singer, MARK HOLLIS’s solo cd, would make some of SIGUR ROS’s slower stuff sound like speed metal, but thats not to say its bad, just may be listed under a required taste.

  Finishing off in style, theres a solo album from TONY HADLEY. NOT!!!! as good as you may think this should sound. (no snickering out there, remember, this is the bellowing foghorn lead vocalist of Spandau Ballet)

  HONEYCRACK anyone? Or would you all just prefer CRACK? Apparantly this is a band that featured a distant cousin of a brother twice removed that sued a guy who was once winching the singer from 3 COLOURS RED, who got kicked out of THE WILDHEARTS. Or something like that.

 ED HARCOURT, HIGH LLAMAS and even HEAVEN 17 give me some saving grace in this section, although HURRICANE #1 will have some of my close friends scouring the yellow pages for a cheap as fuck hit man to put me and everyone else out of their misery.

 For once i sobered up in enough time NOT to buy the second cd from HARD-FI. Who are a band trying so hard to be the Clash that im sure the ghost of JOE STRUMMER is going to be coming back a-haunting with his guns of brixton and gun these fuckers down if they dare go for that dreaded third album.

 You’ll be glad to know thats the end of H, and more pleased to know that the I section will be incredibly short, but still pretty rocking.

  Ive went this far and and left a pile of pish for yous to ponder over, so i’ll leave you with the only cd i have of HAVEN. They may not be a haven for all the badness, misery and woe in this big bad world, but SAY SOMETHING isnt really that bad. Well, not until i attempt to sing it at a karaoke at some point in the near future.

Published in: on November 2, 2008 at 10:26 pm  Leave a Comment  

The Sam Cook(e) Book!

Ive, finally, just finished reading the John Peel book, MARGRAVE OF THE MARSHES. Since first buying it, its taken over 2 years to evetually sit and read through the lot of it.
I had originally made it half way through before putting it down and not returning to it. When i finally did i realised how long it had been, as i was using a 5 Euro note as a book marker and this was the only thing i had left from my last holiday with the gang to Gran Canaria almost 2 years ago.
it was a great read, and John was a very witty man. Even when his wife took over the storytelling half way through it remained a very interesting, and often funny read.

Im now looking through my stack of books and seeing which ones i havent read or have only briefly started.

I have this massive 500 page plus Sam Cooke Book, which i started a while back but felt it was going to be too much of an ordeal to stick with it, even though i know it would be a very insightful look into the great mans life.

I may well return to it soon although i feel i may be disappointed as each time i think of it, cant remember the title of hand but i refer to it as ‘the sam cooke book’, all i can think is that it would be great if it actually was a SAM COOK BOOK!

Imagine if it was filled with sweet soul recipes of the great mans favourite foods. And each chapter told how he loviningly prepared buns and scones with his own hands. Oh what a wonderful world that would be.

Although all this could, quite literally, get out of hand, because next thing you would know is that there would be some old, unseen footage of Marvin Gaye hosting MASTERCHEF, or with his own unique singing preparations, MASTERBATER CHEF!!!!!!!

Published in: on October 31, 2008 at 11:20 am  Leave a Comment  

Alphabetisize!…………oh G!

  The band GENE kick off the next letter in my musical journey with a healthy 7 cds. Not only are some of you asking ‘who the hell are gene?’ but also ‘7 cds??’. Their debut cd ‘OLYMPIAN’ is possibly the only one really worth having, if you’re talking from start to finish and if you’re not talking about a best of, and came out in 94. It was frequently played back then, and still manages to find its way onto my cd player to this present day, and stood up against the other cds i was blasting out at the time such as Blur’s ‘PARKLIFE’, Oasis’s ‘DEFINETELY MAYBE’, Primal Scream’s ‘GIVE OUT BUT DONT GIVE IN’ and Duran Duran’s ‘WEDDING ALBUM’.

     Of course, i have all the official Guns n Roses releases, god knows how many times ive bought Appetite For Destruction. Ive lost copies of this album on many occassions but fell its an essential cd that ive always got to have sitting around, and it was religiously played every week while dj-ing in the Cavern.

  The new album is apparantly now ready for releasing, and when they first started on a follow up to The Spaghetti Incident i was just at the early stages of building up my cd collection. As good, or bad, as this album is going to be, it defenetely wont justify the 14 years that Axl Rose has spent working on it. God, against this length of time Kate Bush’s work rate looks quite prolific.

  Got all the cds by scottish rockers GUN, who have recently came back on the scene, although without original singer Mark Rankin. And also have a bunch of cds by fellow scots Goodbye Mr. Mackenzie, which featured a very young Shirley Manson who went on to global fame with Garbage.

  One of the best stories i ever heard about this volatile red head was when she was having some massive arguement, falling out or just total disintegration of a relationship with an ex and she finally expressed her feelings by shitting in the guys cornflakes! This guy was probably thinking that he wasnt going to be taking any shit from her, but she begging to differ.

    I loved Goodbye Mr Mackenzie, and still do, ‘GOOD DEEDS AND DIRTY RAGS’ is an excellent cd. Maybe not everyones cup of tea with songs about drinking, aids, rape and masturbation but i think that its done all rather well and is not as depressing as it may sound when hearing about these subject matters.

  The aforementioned Garbage are on 3 cds, as is Peter Gabriel, who is recieving something of a new found cult following after being sung about on the current Vampire Weekend cd.

  Green day are also on 3, although ive possibly lost a few along the years whilst dj-ing. Saw them once when the headlined T in the Park on a summery sunday night.

   I was totally fucked, the sky was so blue at times i couldnt rememeber whether i was outdoors or in a tent. And also had to keep asking people round about me who i was actually watching. It was like some bizarre 2 hour long pop-punk pantomime.  Where alongside all their hits they were coming out with things like Monty Pythons ‘Always look on the bright side of life’.

   Ive got 3 also by GRANDADDY, of which SUMDAY is one of my favourites. If the saying goes that you’re never to trust a man with a beard, then these guys could well be the exception. Looks can be decieving and im sure if you walked into somewhere where this band was playing you would think that you had walked into an audition for some bizarre musical version of Deliverance, which would make it all the more amazing when you heard the bands sweet, lush music and harmonies.

   David Grays also on 3 cds, and Gomez and scottish might have beens Geneva are on 2 apiece.

   ahem….i have not one but 2 GAY DAD cds, yeah i know shocking on both accounts as myself and aaron found out recently when we stuck their debut cd on in the pub and both declared how shit it really was.

   Also got a couple from Marvin Gaye who, and i love telling people this story, would always masturbate before recording his vocals as it would put him on a euphoric high after relasing sexual tension and would make his vocals all the sweeter for it.

   Ive spent many times telling hosts of karaoke nights that maybe people in the pub should start doing this or well, or actually make it compulsory to have a wank before grabbing the mike for a song to enrichen everyones experience of karaoke.

    And got a couple of Go West cds as well. Once again i have no shame in delcaring how much i loved Go West, and was even popular at school for a whole week back in 1985 with the girls as they borrowed my cassette of their debut cd. Once copied though, i was banished back into geekdom and a vigourous training regime that would make anyone think that i was trying to become the new Marvin Gaye!

   Also at this time in the 80s i had a debate as which road the stucture of my hair should follow. It was a cross between Peter Cox from Go West, short and spiky or Simon Le Bons most recent permalookalike explosion that accompannied their Wild Boys phase.

   As usual the Duran option won and i briefly fleeted with having a perm. Although this came to a sudden stop when, on one occassion, i was having trouble keeping it maintained, the curls kept falling out. So, on foolishly taking advice from my mum, i put a few curlers in my hair. Which ended up with me having a full head of curlers in by the time i headed off to bed.

  ‘It’ll give it more bounce and life’ im sure my mum said to me.

  I was horrified the next morning to find that after a night with these curlers in i had woken up like Shirley fucking Temple! My mum was informed that i would not be leaving the house until my hair situation was rectified, and i wondered if i was going to have to shave all my hair off and become some mad recluse like Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now!

  “Oh the HORROR, the HORROR” indeed!

 Rounding off the G section are various cds by a varied selection of artists.

  Damon Albarn, of Blur fame, pops up twice with the Gorillaz, and the Good, the Bad and the Queen. Theres one by the excellent Go Team! as well as soul legend Al Green.

  To prove i havent lost my gift for picking up any old shit i have the whole album by Gina G (surely Ooh Aah…just a little bit, is more than enough for anyone), a solo cd by ex Fine Young Canniblas frontman Roland Gift, which i dont really remember hearing, so even at a pound im not sure how much a gift it actually is.

  Theres solo albums from Pink Floyds DAVE GILMOUR, Depeche Modes DAVE GAHAN and scotlands LOVE AND MONEYs JAMES GRANT.

  The debut cd by Macy Gray, who i seriously believe is Marge Simpson in disguise. Have you ever seen the two of them together? exactly!

   Gorkys Zygotic Mynci, which i listened to last night, and was pleasantly suprised how good they were. Hints of belle and sebastian and teenage fanclub;

  Gang of Four, who although never having any real chart success, have been quite influential with the current music scene, including Franz Ferdinand. Even though the band, or more importantly the singer, is clearly mental.

  Goldfinger, who i had the fortune, or maybe thats the misfortune  to see a few years ago at the Barrowlands when the supported A. Thier drummer, who was appropriately named Damage, came to the front of the stage and pulled his trousers down and stick a chocolate bar up his arse! They then got a member of the audience to come up and pick a piece off this chocolate bar before Damage took the other bit out, took a bite himself then threw the rest into the audience. For this reason alone they deserve to have a cd in my collection.

  Genesis, Guided By Voices and Good Charlotte almost finish this section off, which leaves us to finish off with the current gloom laden darlings of the music scene GLASVEGAS.

  With a vocal delivery which has them sounding like distant cousins of the Proclaimers, they sing about social workers called Geraldine, about daddy not being there, about the current knife crime, saltcoats beach!!!!! and about how its always their cheating heart that makes them cry.

   The albums fantastic and mixes Phil Spectors wall of sound with the crashing guitars of the jesus and mary chain.

   With them currently holed up somewhere in Transylvania recording a special christmas album, a song “FUCK YOU, ITS OVER” looks destined to be a future xmas comedown hangover classic.

Published in: on October 31, 2008 at 8:49 am  Leave a Comment  

Vampire Weekend!

As it was only a few days before Halloween, it was probably quite fitting that we were heading up to Glasgow to see a group called Vampire Weekend. This wasn’t a get together of weird and wonderful goths and bloodsuckers, but the name of one, if not ‘The’ band of the summer festivals.

Along with MGMT, this band have vowed audiences up and down the country and most major festivals this year and have seen their debut cds sit snugly within the top 40 since their releases.

No meat on the menu either for us as we met up and nipped into the 13th Note for a quick spicy veggie burger and a pint.
It was bloody freezing outside so it was decided to head straight to the Barrowlands and check out the support bands and get something resembling a heat as well.

After getting through security, and having to empty all our pockets, god i couldnt believe how much shit i had in them, and also colin getting his socks searched!!!!?? we headed up stairs to see what was happening.

The first support band were already on. What the fuck? They were two guys, apparantly spanish, from the canary islands, who i have no idea what their band name was, or what the hell kind of music they were trying to play.
I prayed, hoped and wished after every song for those immortal words that would indicate that my pain was coming to and end, and lo and behold when the singer, if he could be called that, uttered those magical words, “this is our last song”, i let out a cheer of joy.

Next up were Ra Ra Riot, who i had previously heard nothing about. I have probably glanced over something in NME about them, but dont really remember if anything if i have done. Colin assured me that they were pretty good, and he wasnt wrong.
4 guys and 2 girls came onto the stage, picking up their various instruments. The usual guitar. bass. drums (even tambourines at some points) were in the line up.
The girls added a nice little touch with one of them playing the violin and the other, after stupidly asking if you held an cello under your chin (which of course you bloody dont), i realised was playing a cello!!
Some good sounds coming from this band, who have just released their debut cd, and the singer at times reminded me a little of Morrissey in his vocals.

Onto the main act Vampire Weekend. We saw them at T in the Park back in the summer, and it was such a joy to walk into a crammed King Tuts Tent not knowing what kind of music was gonna come from the band that had just taken the stage.
Their musics like indie, poppy guitars mixed with infectious african beats and rhythms, and sometimes they dont sound a million miles away from the Paul Simon you would encounter on the GRACELANDS album.
The band were genuinely pleased to be back in Glasgow, and especially the Barrowlands where, only a year ago, the were playing their first gigs in the UK, supporting the Shins. Telling the crowd how much they loved scottish audiences from their first time here and also the reception they recieved at T in the Park.

“This is great” said the singer at one point, “its just like a festival….indoors….on a wednesday!”.

The band played most of their debut album, highlights included at bounce along PUNK A, OXFORD COMMA, debut single MANSFORD ROOF, and M79, a song dedicated to public transport after the bands impressive views of Glasgows underground rail system.
They even came back on for an encore, and after telling the audience they were gonna do a cover, which was something they didnt really often do, i watched with a grin on my face as a jam packed Barrowlands crowd sang along with the band to their version of Fleetwood Macs ‘Everywhere’.
An excellent gig, and the band brought a little bit of warmth and sunshine to an otherwise cold, wintry, scottish night.

These Vampires will be welcome back anytime, whether is the weekend or not, Halloween or whenever.

Published in: on October 30, 2008 at 7:51 am  Leave a Comment  

Alphabetisize!…………….the letter F!

  Fun Lovin Criminals lead the way in this section with 5 cds, and seen the band once as well at the Barrowlands. Excellently supported by The King, who  there will be more about later.

  Foo Fighters are close on their heals, with 4 cds, that i know off. And im sure theres another one kicking about somewhere that i just cant put my fingers on yet.

 Although ive never seen the Foo FIghters live, i owe one of my best T in the Park live experiences to them. They headlined the festival a few years on the main stage while New Order were appearing live on the NME stage.

  AFter grouping up with everyone, whether the had strayed off, just arrived or were having the medical staff scratching theirs heads at how their bodies were still activating we decided that rounding the night off with NEW ORDER was the only way to go.

  There are a few great stories to come from everything surrounding New Orders live experience, but as im neither talking about New Order, or anybody else i’ll keep those stories for the priviledged few who already know what im talking about.

   Anyway, the Foo Fighters were so loud that night that they managed to cut off the power of the NME stage while NEW ORDER were half way through TRUE FAITH.

   Well, not to be outdone, the whole crowd just carried on singing the rest of the song, in unison, at the top of their voices. With Bernard telling the crowd afterwards that we were the best in the world. I suppose it did help that most of the crowd was off its tits at the time.

  Got 4 cds by Foutains of Wayne, and theres a lot more to them than their pop hit, Staceys Mom, a song which really doesnt do them any justice. Check out Radiation Vibe, their first single, or Utopia Pathway, their excellent second album, or even I Want An Alien For Christmas, their catchy little alternative xmas song, and you’ll see what i mean.

  Theres 4 from ex Marillion front man Fish, 3 from Fleetwood Mac, Feeder and Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Back in the 80s (1984) Frankie became only the second group to go to number one with their first 3 singles. Relax, Two Tribes and the gorgeous Power of Love, which was the best of a bunch of songs back in the 80s with that title. Huey Lewis may have been a slightly close second but Jennifer Rush was a very distant third.

   So good is this song that only a year of so ago, on our annual trip up to glasgow in December to George Square for some outdoor ice skating, we were coming to the end of  our time on the ice and jodie was getting a little bit tired when they announced that it was time to leave the ice, she mentioned this to me but i said to her that there was no way we were leaving the ice until the last notes of The Power Of Love had finished. Well youve gotta get your moneys worth.

  The Faces, Flamming Lips, Fastball and the Futureheads all have 2 a piece, as does Roddy Frame, the ver youthfull scottish singer/songwriter who was the voice of Aztec Camera for many years before he decided to drop the name and go officially solo under his own name.

   We saw him a few years ago at Glasgows QMU doing a very stripped down acoustic set, and he was excellent. Noticiing Billy Sloan in the audience (if you dont know of him, hes an ‘apparant’ music critic, who a number of us feel that he knows bugger all about music) and shouted out that if this didnt recieve a 5 star review in the Sunday Mail he was going to get a kicking!

   Some of my mates also met him one time at a Bob Dylan gig were the confronted him by asking if he was only at this gig because Darius wasnt playing that night.

  Rounding off F theres cds by the Fine Young Cannibals, Aretha Franklin, Free, Fall Out Boy (who do seem to be souding scarily more like the Backstreet Boys with ever release they make), Faith No More, Fields, Filter, Fun Boy 3, Funeral For A Friend, Frente and the Flying Burrito Brothers, who featured one Gram Parsons in their numbers, a kind of alternative country golden god.

Published in: on October 28, 2008 at 2:05 pm  Leave a Comment  

Alphabetisize!…………….with E!

 So, as i had mentioned earlier, i didn’t expect the letter E to take up much room, as i could only, off the top of my head, think of a dozen, at most cds starting with this letter. So i was slightly surprised when i clocked in 36 cds under the letter E, and thats not counting the two i had to discard from the Eagles and ELO as they were, for want of a better word, buggered!

  7 Embrace cds!!!! where did they all creep up from? Not that im bothered about this, as i quite like embrace and have seen them live a number of times. V97 when the were quite low down the bill on the other stage and it only seemed to be me and colin who knew who they were as everyone sat around bemused as what was coming from the stage and also at the sight off the two of us, arms stretched out wide, shouting “we are the famileeeeee………” at the top of our voices. (remember, i did mention earlier that we had smuggled in a shit load of booze at this festival). Also saw them at the Barrowlands, where venues like this suit them far better than big open fields. And then another time at T in the Park when we had nipped off the get a few pints and came back to find one of our mates missing and only a plastic tumbler full of sickness, sitting there, in his absense. Deciding that we should try and find our mate, who we felt would more than likely be at the medical tent, we came to the crucial desicion that we should shoot to the main stage to see Embrace and then wonder who we would find our absent mate. (just to let you know after about another 4 or 5 mad dashes from stage to tent etc to see various bands we finally found him outside the tent after a fantastic set by DOVES).

   4 cds by Echo & The Bunnymen, another band that thanks to T in the Park ive seen a handful of times now. The coolest moment coming when Ian MaCulloch strutted on stage in King Tuts Tent with his long, black jacket and dark glasses on, announced to the crowd that ‘this is the best song ever written’, then they went straight into THE KILLING MOON! whos going to argue with that?

  And the time he convinced Chris Martin from Coldplay that when he had played earlier in the day the band hadnt done LIPS LIKE SUGAR (which they had!) and that he would love to come on during Coldplays set and sing it with him.

  Chris obliged him with this command and Ian and Coldplay blasted this tune out for the second time that day.

   On this occasion we werent camping so had to head back to get the bus before the end of the set. I had to hold back as, after leaving the festival site, i had the sudden urge for the toilet and seeing as our bus never had any facilites i decided it was time to have a moment with nature and found a nice wee field with a single tree sitting in the middle.

  So i finished off my T in the Park expericence that year, under a tree, straining for a shit as fireworks blasted and lit up the sky.

   As shits go, that was pretty spectacular.

  Moving on, theres 3 cds from Eminem, now im not a big fan of rap (it doesnt rhyme with crap for no reason you know) but if its done well then i dont mind. And the whole Eminem thing is done very intelligently, with even the americans, who had initally branded him public enemy number one over some of the things he was coming out with, realising that he was only playing a character, and using this character to deliver views on the world and what was happening and being said in various places all around us.

   And theres also 3 cds from Elbow, who now seem to be getting some of the recognition they deserve after winning this years Mercury Music Prize win.

  Theres a handfull of double entries for Eurythmics, Editors, Electronic, Engineers and the Electric Soft Parade.

   And the rest of this section is taken up with the likes of the Enemy (who i never really thought that much off until i saw them live a T in the Park this year. although they do still sound like the Jam), EMF (Schubert Dip! it  still sounds good!), Erasure, Elastica, the Eighties Matchbox B-line Disaster (Celebrate your mother indeed!), 18 Wheeler, Echobelly, Everclear and last, but by no means least, Europe. Yeah, thats right, those 80s/90s scandanavian poodle haired rockers, who had a world wide smash with THE FINAL COUNTDOWN. its a best of cd with far too many songs that would find it hard, even in fancy dress, to get onto any kind of greatest hits package, but in the confines of my own home sound fine enough.

 So as we wave goodbye to the letter E, F is already heading towards the door, and another 50 odd cds about to be shuffled into shape and looked back on.

Published in: on October 28, 2008 at 10:26 am  Leave a Comment  


 Aah! Duran Duran, so good, they named them twice. As any of my friends will tell you they are simply my favourite group and the reason i got into and love music as much as i do. I’ve spent years listening to all the abuse, ‘oh Duran Duran, theyre a bunch of poofs!’ or the usual ‘what a load of shite’, but ive always stood by them and theyve proved me right on many an occassion and still continue to play sell out gigs around the world. So there!

  Back at school you really weren’t allowed to like music like this, especially if you were a guy, or at least you shouldn’t openly admit to it. But as usual, ive never been one to really follow fashions, so i was listening to Duran, Spandau, Tears For Fears, Frankie Goes To Hollywood, Go West etc when all the ‘apparant’ cool people were into U2, the Smiths etc. Just as, in the Britpop heyday of the 90s, when people were falling over each other to see Oasis, Blur, Elastica, Pulp and the such live, i was always heading to the 70s weekends at Butlins to bask in the live glory of the Bay City Rollers.

  Ive got all the albums on cd now by Duran Duran, as well as a few limited editions and stuff. I remember many, many, many years ago i decided that the vinyl copy of ‘Rio’ would be far better appreciated if it was liberated from its residence in the local library and given a new home with me. So one day my short life of crime was complete when i stuck the album up my jumper, after making sure the scanner sticker had been pealed off and proceeded to leave the library as quickly as possible. I also thought that if i was gonna get caught i may as well do it in style, so shoved the cassette of the Miami Vice soundtrack into my pocket for good luck.

  I was always adamant that my daughter would be called Rio, but that was shoot down in flames very early on, although Jodie is a fine substitute and the only name out of god knows how many that myself and sharon could actually agree on. Jodie still shakes her head saying ‘oh dad!’ whenever i tell her what i had wanted to call her.

  Amd im never gonna force her into liking anything musically but let her enjoy and make her own mistakes about whats good and bad, just like i have. So i dont mind her with her Mama Mia and High School Musical soundtracks and her love for Hannah Montana and the such, because she also has a great ear for good stuff as well.

   Only a few days ago, while we were in Woolies, i pointed out the new Ac/dc cd to her, where she came over, grabbed it off me, had a quick look, then handed it back saying ‘if its not got Back in Black on it, im not really interested’. ha, not bad for a 9 year old.

  And yesterday i found myself having a conversation with her about Vampire Weekend, im off to see them again next week, and she was asking what their last single was as when she was at the caravan park some guy had been playing something from them and she remembered how much i liked them. And also she was asking about another song her friends were talking about at school and knew that i liked and played and within a few minutes of working out what she was talking about, the two of us had eneded up singing ‘Daddys Gone’ by Glasvegas without a care in the windy world that surrounded us. She has nothing to worry about this daddy being gone as its nothing short of being a total joy to spend time with jodie.

  Oh and jodie probably has Duran Duran, or Simon and NIck anyway, for being brought into this world, as i was more than a little over excited after seeing the group for the first time December 98 at the Armadillo in Glasgow. Like that night, and ever other time ive seen the group, i was pished, but enjoyed every single drunken moment of it. I even remember the support band going through the motions to a rather empty auditorium, when the singer shouted out between songs ‘hey there, you’re all very quiet out there’, where there was a sudden reply from someone in the audience shouting ‘thats because you’re fucking shite’. ha, you can always rely on Glasgow to not beat about the bush and let you know what theyre really thinking.

  As you can probably guess, i could go on, and on, and on, about Duran Duran but i dont want to totally bore you guys out there,  but i think you get the message about how much i love them.

  So, what other musical delights have surfaced in the magical world of D?

 Well ive got 7 Def Leppard cds, probably too many, some would say, but hey, i like them.  I do remember having a big arguement with myself a few years back when they were playing the Barrowlands. As i really wanted to see them live but at £32 odds a ticket i was trying to justify the price. Well i knew i would haved kicked myself if i hadnt done it, so i got a ticket a ventured up on a wet and windy monday night to see them. To give you an idea off how musical out of time i iusually am, my mate chris had an extra ticket for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs that night, but i informed him that if i was seeing anyone live that night it was gonna be Def Leppard. And it was fucking great!

  Also got half a dozen Depeche Mode cds and 5 by Del Amitri. I always think of Justin Curries voice as being like listening to a big velvetly cushion. And saw the great man a couple of years back in a tent when i was at the short lived Indian Summer festival in Glasgow, but was far too sober to go up and tell him his soft, cushiony voice.

   That was another great day, as i watched in open mouthed amazment as the lead singer from Gang of Four demolished a microwave with a baseball bat during one of thier songs, enjoyed a very witty spoken word set by Arab Straps Aidan Moffat and rounded off the night standing in the middle of a field in total awe of the wonderful voice of Antony Heggarty of Antony and the Johnsons fame.

  Was never a massive fan of Bob Dylan, unlike one of my mates, but it always felt like homework when he was trying to get me to like him, so i eventually eased into his stuff on my own and now have 4 of his cds, and rather good they are as well.

  Got 7 cds by the Divine Comedy, who ive managed to see live twice. Once at the V festival in 97, which was drunkenly rather good, as between five off us we had devoured two bags of alcopops before managing to smuggle three litres of vodka into the festival itself.

   Got everything the wonderful Danny Wilson ever did, which wasnt a lot sadly,4 by the Doves and have 3 Dandy Warhols and Dexys Midnight Runners cds.

 2 each for The Darkness (yeah, i was the one that bought their second cd), the Dears, a great canadian band whos singer has more than a passing resemblence vocal wise to Blurs Damon Albarn, the Doors, the Datsuns, Dodgy (although a lot of people would say i have more than 2 dodgy cds in my collection), Deacon Blue and Nick Drake, who if you like Belle and Sebastian, then i think you may like some of this guys stuff.

  Theres single entires from the likes of Dire Straits, Detroit Cobras (excellent!), Delays, the Damned, Terence Trent D’arby, Dirty Pretty Things, Evan Dando (of the Lemonheads) a Stephen ‘Tintin’ Duffy album, simply called Duffy (and no, hes no relation to current chart topper Duffy, as either was the rumour that Shakin Steven was her dad!!!!!) and the Devils. Which was a cd of old songs that Stephen had written with NIck Rhodes when he was, briefly, the singer of Duran Duran way back before they had any chart success.

  If anyone has Deep Blue Something in their collection, it should surely only be a cd single (Breafast At Tiffanys anyone?) and not the whole bloody album. Oh the horrors of the bargain bin.

   And once again, im staring at a cd from a group called D4Twenty and wondering ‘What the fuck is this??’.

  So thats about it for D, i’ll finish off with another wee jodie story. In one of my many trips into Fopp on which she has accompanied me on many occassions, i as usual, found myself wondering what was the cd that was getting played as we browsed around the shop. Jodie was still pretty young at the time and was still in her pram, but i could tell she was enjoying it immensly as she was bobbing around like a maniac (which i believe most of the times she is) with a big grin on her face.

  So after going to the counter and finding out what the cd was, i was more than delighted to part with my cash and add the Donnas to my ever growing music collection.

  Almost another 100 cds put into some kind of order. Next up is E and, off the top of my head i can only think off ten or so cds i have under this category, although once i start sifting through everything lying around i may be, as always proved wrong.

 Until then……Ta Ta!

Published in: on October 24, 2008 at 6:45 am  Leave a Comment  

Aphabetisize!….the letter C!

Boredom struck again at the beginning of the week so i fired ahead with my great cd reshuffle and sorted out the letter C.

Another 80 odd cds put into order and im now sitting with about 300 sorted out now and thats only after 3 letter of the alphabet! where the hell am i going to put all the cds? and will i run out of room before i get to Z?

About 7 or 8 Cult cds, half a dozen Charlatans, a handful of the Coral and all the Coldplay ones, including a rarieties type one that i purchased from a female life guard on a bulgarian beach while on holiday a few years ago. Ive no idea if she was actually any good, or even qualified, to be a life guard, but she did have a wide range of cds to choose from, as well as plenty of cheap booze and cigarettes, so Baywatch can fuck right off!
The Clash and Cast are both on 4, but where as each Clash cd is filled with classics, that may not be the case with Cast. And by the time you get to BEETROOT you may understand why it only cast me £1.
Theres two each of Crowded House,Johnny Cash, Catatonia and Elvis Costello and single random classics from the Cocteau Twins, Sam Cooke, Cranberries, Crash Test Dummies,Gary Clark, Jimmy Cliff and The Commodores, which i stuck on and was delighted at how good the commodores still sound.

As for ‘’, i still havent a clue who the fuck this group is, or why i even bought the cd.I stuck it on for a quick listen, and at least its short!

I remember buying, or getting a copy of one Corrs cd years ago, but the fuckers must have been breeding as i happened to stumble across 3 cds by this group. Well i havent had a desire in the past few years to suddenly hear a blast of the Corrs and i think that im not going to change my feelings on this so they’re heading to the bad cupboard along with the Cher cd!!!!!!! which is a copy of her atrocious album that had that global smash-shit ‘Believe’ on it.
And CREED! why, oh why oh why?
I seriously believe that if people were questioned upon purchasing cds that they would probably think twice about what the hell they were handing over the counter and would, hopefully, come to their senses and put them back where they belonged…..the bargain bin!
God knows whats wrong with me, but the nearer we get to Z, the more clearer it will become about how randomly eclectic and down right insane, some of my cd buying has been.
but as i said…………………CREED!!!!. I know, i know, im a sucker for a melodic hook, no matter how over produced or sugar coated it is (or is that shit coated), but im sure in hindsight ‘Arms Wide Open’ wasnt nearly as good as i thought it was at the time. So this cd is off to keep cher and the corrs company.

So again, far less casualities than i thought as im beginning to notice that im clearly nowhere near that embarrassed about my cd collection than i should be.

As Sesame Street would say, next episode shall be brought to you featuring the letter D! this should be fun, and im sure ive got plenty of embarrassing stories to go along with my healthy Duran Duran collection.

Published in: on October 22, 2008 at 9:54 am  Leave a Comment  


Not only, im guessing, a pretty good score at scrabble but its what ive decided to do with all my cds in my frequent moments of clarity.

Its going to be a long journey, and im not gonna rush it, as im sure im going to have decisions to make along the way whether certain cds should still be allowed to grace a cd collection.

I did A last week, and just done B this morning, yeah i know, shocking that i wasnt out on a saturday night. although i did recieve a miss call and a text from a mate at half 3 saying they were at a party if i fancied going along, although i declined the offer.

Well between those first two letters of the alphabet im already over 200 cds. A went by without any major worries, even if gavin says i should be shot for having an army of lovers cd (think off an even camper pet shop boys with dodgy europop).

Ac/dc and Ryan Adams are head to head with 9 cds each, poor old Bryan adams only manages 3.
And i have no problem with All Saints being in there as well, NEVER EVER is a pop gem as the inspired duet at the karaoke in Capitol proved for wendys birthday when we did it together, where she did the introduction while i sang amazing grace along with her, yeah it is the same tune!

B has been an eye opener, and i may be sitting here over the next week wondering if bucks fizz, brotherhood of man and the bay city rollers are gonna make the final cut. Im not even gonna mention Michael Ball….whoops!
Theres a shit load of Big Country as well as Belle and Sebastian and a healthy dose of David Bowie, Blur, Bright Eyes and the Beautiful South.

Ive already enjoyed listening to some Black Box Recorder this morning, and a litte of the Beach Boys, and already sense that my Boy Kill Boy cd is sounding pretty dated after only a year or so of being released.

Theres a load of dodgy shit to come, i think, and i’ll keep you posted on how its going. Boyzone have already hit the bad cupboard and im now denying all knowledge of ever obtaining any of their cds, although A Different Beat was a nice wee song ha.

Im off to see what other crazy things i can find to do to occupy and otherwise boring sunday morning, while listening to Badly Drawn Boys ‘The Hour Of Bewilderbeast’.

Published in: on October 22, 2008 at 8:08 am  Leave a Comment  

The further adventures of the Crown Quiz!

 If theres one thing thats consistant about the Crown, and in this case, the Crown Quiz, is how consistantly wrong the people are who attend it.

  Theres hardly a week goes by where theres always some person or other, hurling abuse my way about how wrong i am and that research is something that i should start taking up for a living.
  Well, far be it from me to actually take up the research offer, and then have to prove all these quiz eggheads wrong, but……………………..

 This week friendly arguing started when i asked “what was the title of the first James Bond film. from 1962?”

 straight away i could see the strains on peoples faces as they almost burst their heads open like that old film ‘scanners’, trying to grab my attention and point out what, they thought was wrong with my question.
  “is that the one with george lazenby or david niven”? asked someone.
  well, did i ask if it was?

 i asked what was the first james bond film?

 Then i had someone shaking his head saying, ‘well casino royale was the first one and not dr no.’
   even after i said that casino royale wasn’t an offical james bond film and was a spoof based on an ian fleming novel, he, and some other people were adamant that i was wrong.
   Well, just to let you guys know. ‘Casino Royale’ (the original SPOOF james bond version of this film, starring david niven), was released in 1967.
   Thats 5 years after Dr. No.
    So you see, all that hassle and what i had said was right all along.

 Next one, where everyone, apart from some random old guy who wasnt even doing the quiz, told me i was wrong, was when i asked…..
   ‘in the comic books, KATHY KANE is the alter-ego of which superhero?’

  The  correct answer (and i now have the proof to back it up) is BATWOMAN.

  The now familiar sound of  “No it isnnae” could be heard coming in my direction from various parts of the pub, with most people ‘assuring me’ it was Catwoman.
   Even with myself telling them that Catwoman and Batwoman were two totally different characters, everyone still disbelieved me.
  So i had to tell everyone that i would definetely research this and if i was wrong i would give everyone a little bit of paper with ‘1 point’ written on it to make them feel better. Not that it would do them any good with actually getting an extra point, but at least it would have given me some peace.
   Anyway, no one guessed Batwoman, so it didnt affect the scores.

 Oh, and just to set the record straight guys, SELINA KYLE is Catwoman. so im gonna have fun telling everyone how wrong they were at the next quiz. Meoow!

 So the eventual winners last night of the drinks vouchers were THE SOILED PANTIES, who have previously been know as THE BEEF CURTAINS.

 With which one persons parting shot was……”oh! i prefer the Beef Curtains to the Soiled Panties”!!!!!!!!!!!

 Dont we all.

 More fun next week, im sure.

Published in: on October 15, 2008 at 6:45 am  Leave a Comment  


could a quiet tuesday night quiz turn into an all night drinking thingy?

and apart from the usual brainless quiz stuff, like people thinking that liam neeson was the star of the naked gun trilogy, and that john collins, the scottish footballer looks like john travolta, and then someone arguing i was wrong once i told them.
and a mini riot about who was the first black woman to win an oscar…..

….our survey says…….halle berry…although some idiot was saying it was ‘hattie’ from ‘gone with the wind’!!!!!!….?????

then someone saying that halle berrry wasnt really black, or as they said in their own words….’not as black as whoopi”!…….whoops indeed!

then i ended up meeting a mate for a few drinks, that lasted all night, and as well as making a bad decision on trying squid at 5 oclock this morning (i only had 1 but theres still a fishy taste in my mouth).

and also the two of us, bizarrely watching the tele when the sign language people came on and this woman was signing away to some dodgy scottish accent people (who at one point even had subtitles), trying to sign to us about the ups and downs of catching fish in choppy weather.

nearly bloody fell asleep on the bus again.

oh well, made it to work,should be a long one ha

but on the plus side, jodie had an EXCELLENT parents night last night.

i really couldnt be any happier about the glowing report the teacher gave her, apart from fearing that she may take some of it back when the ex started opening her mouth and muttering like someone that was heading for remedial class!

at least i had the descency to smile, nod, casually say the odd word of agreement and bask in the glory that jodie is far more intelligent, in more ways that one, than her combined parentage.

Have i ever mentioned that i may be slightly insane?

Published in: on October 8, 2008 at 8:30 am  Leave a Comment  

Marvin Gaye and his masturbatory ways!

 What you’re about to read might seem like a wild work of fiction, but in hindsight makes total sense. Well it does in my world anyway.

 Once again finding myself in the crown, wondering what the fucks going on as the cd player churns out another atrotious crime vaguely masquarading as music, i was more than pleasantly surprised to hear the legendary Marvin Gaye come on.

 A pure talent if ever there was one i was compelled to unleash my story of how he sings like such an angel, and also how the karaoke world would be a better place if they all applied marvins unique singing preparations to their kamakaize karaoke lives.

 I also watched an open mouthed jake, one of the karaoke hosts from the crown, as my story unfolded.

  I told them the true story (search for it and you shall find) of how, just before marvin would go into the studio to lay down his vocals for whatever motown classic he was about to sing on, that he would always nip to the toilet for a quick wank.

 Now you may feel that this sounds prepostorous, and just a little vulgar, but as he always ended up singing like an angel, its also a valid point that many other would be singers should actually think about, and maybe vigoursly pursue.

 The main reason for the great mans actions were all about how if you were in the raging throws of passion, once the almighty climax had appeared, you’re left in such an utter state of pleasure that theres nothing left within you, apart from utter joy that when you sing, its nothing but pure emotion that comes out.

 This action always lent a ‘helping hand’ to many motown classics, such as ‘I heard it through the grapvine’, ‘can i get a witness’, ‘the onion song’, and the amazing ‘abraham, martin and john’.


Has anybody here, seen my old friend John –
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
He freed a lot of people, but it seems the good die young
But I just looked around and he’s gone.

  Well already people were in disbelef of my story, but i confidently soldiered on, telling jake that if everyone that came into the crown actually followed in marvins footsteps the listening pleasure of the karaoke would increase dramastically.

 I also mentioned that have you ever noticed that throughout a night at the karaoke that the more time people get up to sing, and after a few visits to the toilet, that they improved immensly.

  So i can honestly say, whole heartedly that the bigger wanker you are, the better singer you will become.


 If you dont believe me, give it a try.

Published in: on October 5, 2008 at 12:28 pm  Leave a Comment  

In Bruges

an unpolitically correct classic. colin farrell has never been better in this tale of two hitmen lying low in bruges after a job thats went wrong.
colin farrells character is a pissed off anti-hero for everyone whos been in bizarre situtations where things are said out loud that really shouldnt be, but are in this film, as they really are in real life, funny as fuck.
his unhealthy obsession with midgets hilariously adds to the chaos.
the fact that he makes this character likeable and loveable is a huge compliment to his underrated acting skills that are usually misused in film world.
brendan gleeson compliments is also a joy to watch in this film, and ralph fiennes is a psychotic joy to watch. my god he should team up with ben kingleys psycho in ‘sexy beast’ and they could become the laurel and hardy for a fucked up generation.
its not all fun and games, shot through with flashes off brutal violence that wouldnt go amiss in any of martin scorcesses classics.
you’ll be walking around with a mischeivous grin on your face for hours after watching this.
a total joy!

Published in: on October 3, 2008 at 12:17 am  Leave a Comment  

Breakfast On Pluto

this is a glorious, fucked up mess off a film (and currently only £4 in asda) but i dont know if i should recommend it to anyone.
  cillian murphy is a revelation as patrick ‘kitty’ braden who is probably less off a fucked up mess than either the troubled messy 70s ireland that he left or the big bad fucked up london that he heads for. looking for the mysterious missing person who is his mother or maybe just trying to find himself.
  this is director, neil jordans most surreal and accomplished film. and this is the guy that gave us ‘the crying game’. ‘interview with a vampire’ and more recently a revenge filled jodie foster in ‘the brave one’.
  it also has the always reliable liam neeson and, a once again on top form, brendan gleeson, as well as neil joradans favourite, stpehen rea, and a crazy cameo from bryan ferry.
   Deserverdly, cillian murphy was nominated for a Golden Globe in this role (remember this is the guy that was ‘the scarecrow’ in batman begins as well as the star of ’28 days later)’.
  ‘kitty’ is a crazy mixed up character in a world, far more crazy, mixed up and unexplainable than he/she will ever be.

 only for people with very open minds, willing to take on whatever biazzarenest confronts them.

Published in: on October 2, 2008 at 11:46 pm  Leave a Comment  

The night my i-pod became a die-pod!

i was just thinking about the good old days when i could just stick on the i-pod and disappear into my own musical fantasy world. But those carefree days are behind me as the little thing isnt with me anymore. I foolishly thought that it was made of sturdier stufff and considering it was littered with many a dodgy tune, and the entire ‘ultimate’ Dirty Dancing soundtrack, that it could handle a good drink.

 Oh how wrong i was.

 excuse me while i wipe a teary eye as i recount the day my i-pod became a die-pod.


yeah, ive done so well up until now, looking after the little fellow on the many parties we’ve attended.
at first he would shly hide away in my pocket, then more recently feeling more at home with himself and coming out and enjoying himself as the life and soul of the party.everything was fine up until last weekend when i noticed lager over the little guy. he mustve grabbed my can while my attention was elsewhere and in a moment of madness spilt the stuff everywhere.

since then the fuckers went haywire. flicking about, getting moody and switching himself off and just locking himself down. i fear im losing a good friend.

looks like a bit of cold turkeys going to have to be required and keep him locked away while i head out on a friday night. life wouldnt be the same without the little guy around.
so hopefully a little drying out period will restore him to his full, musical glory.

TUNE IN NEXT WEEK when you learn of my utter despair of finding my beloved toaster shooting up heroin after nipping into the kitchen for some midnight munching!

Published in: on October 2, 2008 at 1:53 pm  Leave a Comment  

The King and the Kunt!

 Heres a little reminiscense from last year. On the 30th anniversay of the death of the king of rock n roll, the one and only elvis presley, myself and a few mates were heading to glasgow to witness another musical pioneer.


Wednesday, August 15th, to some people, just another ordinary day, but to music lovers it was 30 years ago to that date that the King of Rock n Roll himself Elvis Presley left this planet.

so what better way to celebrate than to head up to Glasgow to witness another true musical pioneer, KUNT AND THE GANG!

Well first we had to endure the support act, THE PLIMTONES (or some shit like that).
the gig was at the 13th Note and didnt take too many people to have it look fairly busy.
i really dont know how to explain what was wrong with the band, the worse thing to me was that there were actually people (or is that fuck-wits) there to see these fuckers.
Dave was ready for killing someone half way through their set. Trying to be funny without any hilarity, how ironic it was that KUNT had support from actual talentless cunts!

Things soon changed when the man came on himself, with only his trusted casio sound, he belted through his pop-tinged 2 minute classics full of comedy gold lyrics of filth. not for the faint hearted but certainly worth going to see for a laugh.

To give you a little taster his set list consisted of songs with titiles such as WANK THE DOG, I SHIT MYSELF, USE MY ARSE AS A CUNT (apparantly about how to get ahead in the music business) FUCKSTICKS and my personal favourite, WANKING OVER A PORNOGRAPHIC POLAROID OF AN EX-GIRLFRIEND AND SHES DEAD. pure pop gold!

It was a good fun way to spend a night on the anniversay of the kings death, and im sure he was looking down with a smile on his face and a squirrel burger in his hand.

In fact, in his honour, i had a chicken tikka burger with fries on the way home.


Published in: on October 2, 2008 at 1:22 pm  Leave a Comment  

The Madness Of King Michael!

 Michael Jackson never ceases to amaze me, even if his music stopped being far from amazing a long time ago.

  Ironically, the last good album he did was called ‘BAD’, which was over 20 years ago, and everythings been pretty much bad ever since.

 Back in 1987, Michael was at his wordwide peak as an unstoppable musical hit machine. After THRILLER had become a global smash, he released BAD, and Michael Jackson fever was so high that he had NINE!! hit singles in the UK from this album.

   Some artists never have that many ‘hits’ on a cd, even when they’re releasing a ‘Best Of’ or ‘Greatest Hits’.

  But since then, musically, theres really been nothing to write home about from the self proclaimed ‘King of Pop’. Although bizarre stories follow him around, like night follows day. And we never seem to be too far away from another crazy michael moment.

   Over the years he’s lived in an air conditioned type bubble thing, been very close companion with a monkey, lived a peter pan lifestyle and even had a magical fairground land outside his backdoor called NEVERLAND.

  He’s also had his fair share of dodgy allegations surrounding the children that have spent the night, or weekend at his fairytale mansion.

   Reports that he was feeding these children alcohol laced drinks before having his wicked way with them have always come up unfounded.

   Maybe he was just trying them out with his new Michael Jackson ‘Jesus Juice’ which he was ready to unleash out onto an unsuspecting world before everything went so wrong.

  And any rumours that he’s been dying the pigmentation of his skin over the years so that he can eventually fulfill his life long dream of playing Robert Downey Jnr. in a future film of the great actors life, are sadly only made up in my own head.

   But i was delighted to find that he hadn’t lost any of his wackoness when the announcement came out a little while back that he was heading into the recording studio to record songs and poems from none other than Scotlands finest poet, Robert Burns!

  He has apparantly teamed up with David Gest, you know the scary looking dude that married Elizabeth Taylor, to give a 21st century twist of the great scots lyrics.

   It seems that Micheal and David have been fans of Robert Burns for many years, at one point they had even planned to make a musical on his life. There were serious talks about this and Gene Kelly was to be involved as the director and ‘pyscho’ star Anthony Perkins was to be an executive producer, but both passed away before this dream could come to life.

   So the two headed into the studio to put contemporary music to Burns’ poems, which included their own unique versions of ‘Ae Fond Kiss’ and ‘Tam O’ Shanter’, apparantly turning them into show tunes.

   Michael had no probelm years ago singing about a pet rat called ‘BEN’, so im sure he would have no problem tackling the classic Robert Burns poem, ‘To A Mouse’ (although pronounced in our scottish brogue as ‘moose’).

  And maybe if a full album of Robert Burns songs and poems is ever released by Micheal Jackson, he could call it BARD!

Published in: on October 2, 2008 at 8:17 am  Leave a Comment  

No need to be scared, little bunny!

 Finding new music is always a joy, no matter whether you’ve stumbled across it on your own or it’s been passed on to you by a friend.

 2007 was a far more colourful and enjoyable year with THE PIPETTES ( being introduced into my life.

 And, although 2008 has been the chinese year of the Rat, to me its been the year of the Rabbit. Or to be more precise, the year of FRIGHTENED RABBIT(, and their excellent album ‘THE MIDNIGHT ORGAN FIGHT’, (, which hasn’t strayed that far away from my stereo since being introduced to it.

 Since the release of this album (their 2nd), it has been picking up rave reviews, as have their live shows, which there have been plenty off as they seem to have continually toured throughout the whole of the year.

 From Selkirk, the band started off a few years ago with just SCOTT HUTCHISON as the only member of Frightened Rabbit. As he wrote more and more music under this name, a real group began to take form with his brother GRANT (drums/vocals) joining. The band was then made more complete with the arrival of BILLY KENNEDY and ANDY MONAGHAN (both on guitars and keyboards).

 I would describe them as indie pop, tinged with a little bit of folk. And at times they remind me of a very early sounding Snow Patrol. But as always when trying to tell someone what a group sounds like, you would be better off tracking down the cd and decding for yourself.

 The guys see the main way of getting their music out there is by touring, and they’ve built up a nice little following in America doing just that.

 Last night’s gig (wed 30th September) at the ARCHES in glasgow, proved that their continual touring is paying off over here as well. Playing to their biggest Glasgow crowd yet, Scott was genuinely taken aback by the amount of people that had come to see his band and listen to his songs.

  Kicking off with ‘I FEEL BETTER’, they proceeded to deliver an hour of excellent live music, with ‘THE MODERN LEPER’, ‘GOOD ARM VS BAD ARM’, ‘THE TWIST’, ‘OLD OLD FASHIONED’, ‘DROWNING IN THE FORTH’ and ‘HEADS ROLL OFF’ just some of the highlights.

  The only moment that didn’t really work out last night was when Scott came on himself with just an acoustic guitar to perform a very quiet, slow burning version of ‘POKE’.

   Im told this has worked in the past and can be quite mesmerising but last night there were just too many people there.

   And this is a compliment, not a critisism, to the band and how they have built up a loyal following which keeps growing with every gig that they do.

 They like to keep it small and and as intimate as possible and you can tell that they are purely just in this for the love of music.

  But they may have to get used to the fact that they are no longer one of Scotlands best kept secrets.





2008 (October 21st) – LIVER! LUNG! FR! (live cd, recorded at The Captains Rest, Glasgow)

Published in: on October 1, 2008 at 11:06 am  Leave a Comment  

A Classically Trained Actor!

heres a wee oldie, but goldie.  Based on true events and a person who needs no introduction around here.



Here is the tale of a classically trained actor,
Who’s talents wouldn’t be out of place on the x-factor,
He’s efficient at photography, acting and mincing,
And out of the three, the last one’s most convincing.

He helps the bands set up on a friday night,
When he’s not doing this he’s usually spouting some shite,
About all the ideas he has in his head,
Well he should have plenty, it’s as big as a shed.

He majors in drama, in case you didn’t know,
And he loves nothing better than putting on a show,
‘Rocky Horror’, ‘Moulin Rouge’ and the rest are all fine,
But his greatest achievement will be his very own pantomime.

‘How you doin’?’ is his catchphrase, like joey from FRIENDS,
And his choice of shirts usually often offends,
He’s one with the ladies, offering lollipops cheap,
While the DJ spins a tune in his honour – Radiodheads ‘CREEP’.

His acting is ropey and DJing quite shitty,
But even he couldn’t fail an audition for RIVER CITY,
He often complains I don’t play his requests,
But when you ask for KID ROCK, what the hell do you expect.

When it comes to the camera, It’s never far away,
Pictures of bands and people drunk, he just loves to display,
Whether its MARK with a hoover or myself dressed in drag,
Thank yourself lucky Colin, he never got your bawbag.

Well thats a little insight to our talented friend,
But talking with him too much will drive you round the bend,
Better in small doses, or with a pinch of salt,
Add tequila and lime, and the pain must surely halt.

‘It’s good to talk’ said BOB HOSKINS for B.T.,
But not when the talkings directed at me,
Time for the cash desk and give us a break,
Away and annoy some other fucker for Christs sake.

It’s the end of the night, and talk turns to a party,
‘Is he coming along?’, ‘Oh! really, does he have to?’,
As long as he stays in the kitchen all night,
Because the last time he came through, you know what happened?
………………….THAT’S RIGHT!


Tropic Thunder

 ‘Tropic Thunder’ sends up the whole of Hollywood hilariously, from the people behind the camera such as directors, writers and agents to the hugely inflamed egos of the actors that appear in front of the camera.

 The film basically tells the story of how a bunch of actors, trying to make a war film which is going disasterously wrong, who end up actually in the middle of a real war zone. But they’re too much into their acting, or art or maybe just too damn thick to know what the hell’s going on.

   Ben stiller, Jack Black and Robert Downey Jnr. have a scream playing their characters in this film. Whether its Tugg Speedman (Stiller),  the fading action star who wants to be taken seriously, Jeff Portnoy (Black),  the comedy star who feels people only laugh at his fart jokes and has a massive drugs problem or Kirk Lazarus (Downey),  the serious multi-oscar winning method actor  who delves so much into his roles that for this film he has surgically dyed his skin to transform himself into a black man.  Then for most of the film he seems to believe that he is actually black.

 They even come with trailers for films these actors have coming out. Best of the bunch has to be Downey Jnrs one where hes a confused man of the church, who questions faith, god and his own sexuality and has  Toby Macguire in a blink and you’ll almost miss it cameo role. By the time that the forthcoming films title is revealed as SATAN’S ALLEY, you really do wish that this film existed. It would be comedy gold.

  Best of any cameo role that appears in this film is the one of Tom Cruise, which really has to be seen to be believed. Its the most unexpected role you would ever expect him to play, and is funny as hell because of this,  and once again shows what an underatted actor he is.  If he would only stop trying to be the Son of Scientology and just get back to what he does best.

 Theres plenty to laugh at here, and im sure other small jokes will get picked up on repeated viewings.

  This film isnt to be taken seriously, but it is seriously on the ball about how people in the film world get caught up with the whole utter madness of it all, and then become overblown caricatures of themselves.

   Im sure there will be plenty of hollywood people that will squirm nervously when having to sit through this film, as it may be more real than they care to let on about how they all behave in the wonderful make believe world of movies.

Published in: on September 30, 2008 at 6:48 am  Leave a Comment  

Lunacy In The Sky With Diamonds

Lunatics form an orderly queue,
don’t worry at the back, im sure i’ll get to you,
Im a magnet for insanity, no need to complain,
im like a walking advert for the mentally insane.

Jack Nicholson would fly over my cuckoos nest,
and i’d probably still lose at marbles if i had any left,
each day is a crazy, mental, mixed up mess,
does lunacy never ever seem to take a rest?

Published in: on September 29, 2008 at 11:24 pm  Leave a Comment  


It looks like a new avenue has opened up for me as a real live Motherfucker!

if i took this up, whats the pay package like? is there some sort of bonus scheme? what kind of tax code would i be on?

i opened up my bebo page to find 3 messages waiting for me. wow, i thought, im mr popular today.

message number 1………….

Hi cutie! Pardon me, but what pickup line works best with you?

My mom is single again and she wants to find a guy she can have fun with. Her idea of a great first date would include wine, flowers, cheesecake, coffee and some dancing. Maybe you have a better idea, what would you propose? Don’t hold back, she’s the adventurous type! She’s not looking for a one-night stand however, sorry. She loves to laugh, so maybe throw a couple of jokes her way 🙂 I’m sure you will find her very attractive. She hates wearing too much makeup or perfume. She has perfect skin and an hourglass figure. She loves the color blue. If you’re looking for an outgoing, fun and easy-going woman, then reply back, don..t be shy.
Since this is my account though, please send your reply to her email address at lisa_thorsted at yahoo. com.

fuck the cheesecake for a start, that would be my first proposal.

and an hourglass figure, wow, someone to tell me when my eggs are ready.

then message number 2……………………

Hello, how are you? My mom read your dating ad and would like to meet you.

If you write back, you should email her at lisa_vignocchi at yahoo. com.

She would like to date and if you hit it off, she’d like to play it by ear. She’s been single for a while now and wants a new start. Her sort of guy would enjoy many of the things she does. She loves television, dancing, reading, going to bars, catching movies and listening to music. She also loves shopping and traveling. She has a youthful appearance and a gorgeous body.
She always complains that she does not get adequate exercise! I hope you can help her 😉

That’s it for me! It’s your turn stud.

adequate excercise!!!! may i suggest she gets on her fucking bike, or even take a hike!

and finally message number 3……………………………

Hi sweetie! Her lips are skittles, wanna taste the rainbow?

You’re hard to miss! I was browsing the site with my mother; she’s looking for a fun guy to date. We saw your profile page and fell in lust. She really likes you and wants to meet. She’s been single for a few months. She briefly tried the dating scene, but she wasted her time. She’s looking for a man that won’t play head games or who is not a cheater. She’s beautiful and is a bit of a flirt. She loves to go out and to have a good time. She also likes to watch television and movies, but she needs some doses of physical activity. She has plenty of interests, you can discuss them with her, I know you’ll have some in common. She’s original, compassionate and outgoing. BTW, this is not her account, so please don’t reply directly to my message.
Instead, send your reply to her email address at lisa_dantzler_g at yahoo. com.

her lips are like skittles!!!! now theres a line to bowl someone over.

and she fell in lust with my profile!!! what????
did her guide dog go barking fucking mad or something like that.

now im up for a bit of adventure and this is at least a new one, obviously all the sex crazed nigerian woman are hibernating at the moment.

call me mad, but i havent added any of these email addresses, but if any of you guys want to give it a go, feel free. and dont worry, i wont tell anybody.

Mums the word! ha

but wouldnt i be cool if someone called you a motherfucker and you could reply “why yes, i am a motherfucker, so any time youre not running back to mommy crying into her shoulder, just give me a shout and i’ll come round and help her out”

had to share this with you guys.

over and motherfucking out!!!!!!

Published in: on September 29, 2008 at 11:14 pm  Leave a Comment  

The Lovely Bones

I like to get lost in a good book that takes you to some magical, and sometimes dark places, and allows to let your mind wander free. One of the best ones ive read this year, so far, is ‘the lovely bones’ by alice sebold. its an excellent story which will definetely have you thinking of many things as you travel through the story.
it tells the story of suzie who is 14 years old. and dead. not only do you know who has murdered her at the beginning of the book but it is suzie who actually tells the story, from heaven.
the book isnt really about the man who murdered her, or even about hunting him down and bringing him to justice but is more about how people deal or dont deal with life after someone who was close to them or who they knew is taken away from them. how people grow and deal with things in their own way and try to get on with their life, every person affected in totally different ways.the book is already in the process of being turned into a film, which is always a cry of alarm knowing how hard the journey is for a good book to make it to the big screen and still have it keep some of its magic that had first touched you when you read it.
well peter jackson, of lord of the rings fame, is directing the film and considering his amazing directing skills on these films, as well as the likes of heavenly creatures and the frighteners, could mean that he could deliver a truly magical and moving film.the films not going to be with us till next year, so just go out and find the book and enjoy.
Published in: on September 29, 2008 at 11:06 pm  Leave a Comment  

I bet she’s voting for Dukakis!

well this is a little story from a while back but thought it deserves to be up here and will help kick off my views, and some other random peoples views of the film world.

Not so long ago i was stoating about the bargains in woolies when i heard this woman point at a film and say to her friend
“thats the worse film thats ever been made”

as i love films and was curious as to what she was referring to, i hovered about until she told her friend that the film she was talking about was DONNIE DARKO.
she said that her ex had went on and on about it and when she finally watched it she said it was the biggest piece of shite she had ever seen. and then she said that she wrapped it up and gave it to him for a christmas present.

Donnie Darko is many things to many people, but anyone simply dismissing it as shite clearly shouldnt be allowed to watch films.

She probably thinks that steven seagal is not only a top action star but the recipe for a great night in, that martin lawrence is the funniest man in the world and that when a stranger calls was one of the most orginal, frightening experiences of her life.


theres a reason he may be your ex you know!

tune in next week when a random reviewer in the asda aisles tells us that she was looking forward to seeing Denzel Washington in De Ja Vu, but once it had finished she declared that she had “seen it all before”!

Published in: on September 29, 2008 at 5:58 pm  Leave a Comment  

You can get it all, in Senegal!

 Have you ever had one of those crazy e-mails from god knows where around the world, from a total stranger telling you how that, even though you havent met, your paths had been crossed by destiny a long time ago. And that they feel after spending all of 30 seconds browsing your picture on the internet that they believe its time to pack up and head over to be with you for the rest of their lives.

  And more importantly, does anyone ever fall for it?

 now you may indulge them for a laugh, as i’ve done in the past, but it soon gets down to the nitty gritty and you’re being asked to put some money into a bank account or arrange to send some money out. Are these people mental?

 Its time we turned the tables and played them at their own game.

 I decided to take one of these emails up on their offer and sent my reply.

 I’m not sure how far away Senegal is, but i still havent heard anything back from dear old Helen.


My name is helen, i saw your profile today and became intrested in you,i will also like to know you more,and if you can send an email to my email address,i will give you my pictures here is my email address (helenwilliams4you@yahoo.

com) I believe we can move from here! Awaiting for your mail to my email address above helen

and my reply would be……..

dear helen, i was looking through thousands of pages and came across yours, you stuck out instantly (although you dont even have a photo)
i was thinking that we are destiny, dont bother moving, im coming over to senegal to be with you.

ive got fuck all money, and just packed in my job, but im sure there will be room enough for the two of us and our 16 children in your air conditioned hut.

no point sending you an email or photo, im boarding the plane right now, and will be there before you know it.

get the dinner on honey!!!
 Its all Bollocks! We know its all a money scam and not really some hot thing so mentally deranged that one look at our mug shots has them instantly wetting their pants.

Published in: on September 29, 2008 at 12:41 pm  Comments (1)  

Ooh to be…..Nah!

 There were many things that ran through my head yesterday, while sitting in a friends kitchen, catching up on the town gossip, while happily sipping away at my cider and enjoying the odd herbal smoke, while some dodgy 80s compilation cd was nostalgically, soundtracking the afternoon.

    But what really kept nagging me was just how pointless Kajagoogoo really were, or more to the point, was ‘ooh to be aah’, the follow up to their big 1983 surprise smash hit single, ‘Too Shy’, the most useless piece of music recorded.

 Luckily, as i do on quite a few occassions, i kept these thoughts to myself, but really, even trying to hum along to this tune, if that’s the word, i found myself wondering why this song existed.

 ‘Too Shy’ was the bands 15 minutes of fame, a synth-tinged classic, produced by Duran Durans Nick Rhodes, and proceeded his own bands first encounter with the number one spot by a few months.

  ‘Ooh to be Aah’ quickly followed into the top ten, but still remains a mystery as to how this song was ever allowed to leave the recording studio. It copies ‘Too Shys’ slow build intro, but actually forgets to stick anything resembling a tune after this, which leaves you, for the next two or three minutes, listening to limahl bizarrely oohing and aahing in search a long lost melody that would always be out of the bands reach.

  Fair play to Limahl, who decided that enough was enough and left to pursue a solo career, while the band charted for a third time that year with the aptly titled ‘Hang On Now’. More along the lines of ‘hang on, what the hells going on here?’ rather than, ‘Hang on in there, everythings gonna be fine’.

  With Nick Beggs taking over vocal duties for the band, they found themselves, briefly, back in the top ten with ‘Big Apple’. A catchy little tune that gave everyone, who cared, false hope of a long(er) shelf life for the band. But less than a year later, ‘The Lions Mouth’ was struggling to get into the top 30 and ‘Turn Your Back On Me’ failed to dent the top 40, just as their fans actually took this advice, and turned their backs on this bands short brush with pop fame.

 Meanwhile Limahl grasped at the top 5 once again, with the iressistable ‘Never Ending Story’. A guilty pleasure for many people, too scared to openly admit this.

 I have no problem with this song at all, although do have a few issues with the film of the same name that this song accompanied.

  Imagine your surpirse as a kid in the mid 80s, travelling to the local cinema for the ritual saturday afternoon matinee, to see the words ‘NEVER ENDING STORY’ displayed in all their glory. And imagine your horror after only 90 odd minutes of this fantasy land……the film finishes!

 Eh, hello! didnt i just buy a ticket for the NEVER ending story. Its false advertsing gone awol. And dont even get me started on parts 2 and 3!

  Anyway, probably because he couldnt get his head around the whole concept that he wasnt going to have a never ending music career, the tunes soon dried up for Limahl, as they had for Kajagoogoo (or Kaja as they hilariously renamed themselves for a failed attempt at a comeback).

  The one thing youve gotta say for these guys is that they dont believe in giving up easily.

  Only last year the band were back at another stab at the pop world with a new song entitled ‘Rocket Boy’ and a bizarre video that resembled an audition tape for american hair rock band poison.


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  It was released through the internet, so i have no idea how well it was recieved, although there were no reports in  any major news stories of the ‘Rocket Boy’ setting the world on fire.

 On a final note, i couldnt even begin to wonder what the hell was going through eveyones heads that attended this years RetroFest at Strathclyde Park, when Limahl and Kajagoogoo performed the far from classic ‘Ooh to be Aah’. Im only guessing, or hoping, that Bollocks wasnt far from their thoughts.

  As for their continual attempts at come backs and re inventions, as well as ‘Too Shy’, ‘Never Ending Story’ and, at a push ‘Big Apple’ it leaves them just out of reach of Brilliance!

Published in: on September 29, 2008 at 7:11 am  Comments (1)  

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Welcome to This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!

Published in: on September 28, 2008 at 10:44 am  Leave a Comment  

The musical adventures of 2009 – February!

 Februarys a pretty bleak month, certainly weatherwise and if you consider the annual Brit Awards that took place this month, then music wise as well.  And it was reasonably quiet on the music buying front as well. Not a great deal in the way of new releaseses, although by far, the best purchase of the month was the new cd from MORRISSEY, entitled “YEARS OF REFUSAL”. An excellent, uptempo affair, which seems to see Morrissey in an unusually cheery mood. Its a joy from start to finish and one of his best albums in ages. This has been on repeated play throughout february to blow away the icy cobwebs of this very chilly month.

   The only other new cd i purchased this month is from a new group called EMPIRE OF THE SUN. Hailing from down under, although new to music under this name, singer LUKE STEELE has previously been making musical waves with his former band THE SLEEPY JACKSONS and has here teamed up with NICK LITTLEMORE of never heard before psychedlic popsters PNAU. Definetely riding in on the success of MGMT these guys deliver their own version of sun drenched, psychedilc shiny pop and have an album whose cover is a colourful cross between MGMT, ADAM ANT and STAR WARS. In fact the guy behind the counter in ASDA curiously examined the cd before asking me if this was a new album by Mr Adam Ant himself.

 Picked up the FRIENDLY FIRES cd, and these guys have been gaining rave reviews while touring with GLASVEGAS, FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE and WHITE LIES. The lead singer has been likened to Mick Jagger, more to do with his stage presence than his looks i would think…..and hope. This cd will definetely make you feel like getting up and having a dance and im sure the guys will gain ever more fans when festival time comes around.

  Finally got a “real” copy of KINGS OF LEONS “ONLY BY THE NIGHT”, the album thats cemented their fame as britains current number one favourite band. Its also helped them pick up awards at the Brits for Best Album and Best International Band.

   Oh the Brits. Were do you start? i had actually forgotten all about them, as i had got caught up in the bizarre plotiness of the recent Indiana Jones film. On turning the awards ceremony on i thought the Kingdom Of Crystal Skull scriptwriters had continued on their space journey and were penning the events of this years awards. It was the only explanation for witnessing what looked like four singing aliens who were descending to earth to heal us humans with the gift of song. But alas, there was to be no Speilberg encounters of any kind as on second glance i found it was only the flab four, TAKE THAT themselves, singing their wee hearts out before once again leaving this mascarade of an awards ceremony empty handed.

   It was amusing enough for a little while, whether it was watching the total bemusement on everyones faces when IRON MAIDEN won Best Live Act or David “The Hoff” Hasselhoff leering and perving at Fern Cotton in front of millions but it soon descended into total nonsense. Kings of Leons deserved their awards as the album has sold shit loads in Britain and ELBOW are now getting the recognition they so rightly deserve, but overall it was, as usual, rewarding album sales rather than anything resembling musical talent. By the time the dreadfull nominations for Best British Single were read out and more horrifically, GIRLS ALOUD winning! It was all over.

    A nice little introduction from Brandon Flowers kicked off the Pet Shop Boys megamix performance as they were awarded Outstanding Contribution To Music, and he also popped up singing a few lines of the bands classic 1987 number one hit ITS A SIN. LADY GAGA was worbling along amongst all this as well, and up until now i havent heard any of her stuff and have no desire to do so in the forseeable future.

   The cheapest and bizzarest buy of the month for my has been David Bowies “TONIGHT” cd.  Found for only a pound it featured the 80s pop hit BLUE JEAN as well as the classic LOVING THE ALIEN. On sticking it on for a little listen i was dumbstruck by track two by the fact that i was actually listening to David Bowie doing REGGAE!!!!! this was quickly followed by a cover of the Beach Boys “GOD ONLY KNOWS” done in a Walker Brothers style. There was another dance with reggae elsewhere on the album, and by the end of the cd i had definetely felt that i had got my moneys worth from this musical oddity.

   I managed to replace another two of the many cds ive lost over the years this month, adding THE STROKES “ROOM ON FIRE” and AC\DCs “BACK IN BLACK” back into my collection.

 This month has also seen the build up for this years T IN THE PARK pick up a pace, with the release of more tickets and some of the acts that will be appearing. All in all its been nothing short of disorganised chaos with artists being named then said definetely not to be playing, only to be added again with the ongoing updating of the line up (NINE INCH NAILS and JANES ADDICTION to name two). And nobody really knowing who the hell is playing and on what day. Ive also been following the ongoing madness of peoples thoughts and comments on the T in the Park forum. People who are clearly off their heads, and still sitting there wondering if theyll release another headliner name even after theyve already named four headliners for the 3 day event!

   And apparntly a lineup already consisting of BLUR, THE KILLERS, KINGS OF LEON, SNOW PATROL, RAZORLIGHT, MANIC STREET PREACHERS, GLASVEGAS, THE SPECIALS, FRANZ FERDINAND, BLOC PARTY, NICK CAVE AND THE BAD SEEDS, ELBOW, JAMES, FRIENDLY FIRES, KATE PERRY, MOGWAI, THE VIEW, SQUEEZE, KEANE, MAXIMO PARK, LADYHAWKE, PETE DOHERTY, WHITE LIES, YEAH YEAH YEAHS, PET SHOP BOYS, BJORN AGAIN and a hell of a lot more isnt enough for these people who dismiss all of this as mediocre and uninspiring and are still religiously praying for some great revelation to make this event truly amazing.

  I mean, what the hell do these people want? They wont be happy until theres an announcemnt that the CAPRENTERS are getting back together again, not only with the dead Karen Carpenter back on drum and vocal duties but also a resurrected Jesus back in the line up! Well he was one of the original Carpenter, wasnt he?

  But is all amusing, harmless fun anyway and passes the time away till the crazy T in the Park weekend actually comes around.

  And a special mention goes to the guy who found a colourful way off getting his point across by calling a fellow commentor a “COCK JUGGLING THUNDERCUNT!”

 An excellent phrase that i for one wont get tired off using. Well there is plenty off them out there!

Published in: on March 10, 2009 at 9:22 am  Leave a Comment  

The musical adventures of 2009 – January!

As the New Year partying finally comes to an end, you find yourself lying, dying in your bed, your body telling you that you’re going to pay for all the alcoholic abuse you’ve put it through, wondering if its worth your breath uttering resolutions that probably wont even make it till the end of the month, never mind the end of the year, and also wondering what craziness this year is going to bring and what music is going to soundtrack it.

  Well my half hearted attempts at any kind of new year resolutions have had varying degrees of success so far. Cutting out smoking got off to a great start, and in the first two weeks of the year there were only two moments when i found myself grabbing for menthol medication. So i know i can take it or leave it, although at the moment im doing more taking than leaving, but its still early days so we’ll see how it goes. As for drinking, ive had a very sober time, with only one night of mild drinking occuring, accompanied with the brutalising of many 80’s power ballads on Sing Star. Im sure theres going to be plenty of drunken stories and adventures on the horizon though.

   So with my quiet and sober january days and nights ive been scouring the sales and charity shop bargain bins as well as looking out for any new releases in the music world to kick off what should be, as always, a colourful, unpredictable and entertaining year in music.

   A journey to Glasgow is always incomplete without a visit to Fopp (or flopp as jodie likes to call it), which is always littered with great bargains, good and bad. After having taken jodie to the Irn Bru festival and managing to fly round most of the rides in just over an hour, including the one which has verified my fear of heights by rising as far up as it could go without hitting the roof, then shooting down and various speeds, all in the name of alledged fun. ‘stick your hands in air’ screamed some crazy kid beside me, while my knuckles were turning white as i held onto the metal bar for dear life. If any word came to mind beginning with the letter F while on this ride, it certainly wasn’t Fun. So after surviving our yearly irn bru funfair frights i felt it only right to treat myself to a couple of cheap price cds.

  So while leaving jodie outside finishing off her steak bake i promised her i would only be a couple of minutes as i popped into fopp. Realising this was a blatant lie she was in right behind me, telling me my time was already up. After informing her that there was, literally, a shop full of shit that i could gladly indulge in buying (they even had a couple of MR. MISTER cds) i bribed her with the promise of hitting poundland to buy her usual shit when i was finished.

  With only £8 to spare i decided to choose wisely. So i got the WE ARE THE PIPETTES cd for £3, which i had previously only had as a copy, and Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds DIG!!! LAZURUS DIG!!!.  The Pipettes are like a modernised version of all those 60s, phil spectorish all girl bands. Its an excellent cd, which just makes you just want to sing and dance. This did get colin into trouble one time with his ex, when she demanded to know why their daughter had started singing one of her favourite songs from the album, DIRTY MIND. Well i feel that having young children subjected to all the x factor nonsense and pop pish thats masquarading as music these days is far more harmful to their childhood than anything that the Pipettes have to offer.

   DIG!!! LAZURUS DIG!!! is a fine album as well. Nick Cave is a very intelligent and witty songwriter and theres always something that will put a smile on your face while listening to his dark broody music.

    As i no longer work in the Cavern, i feel that my days of casually losing cds on a regular basis are behind me and im always on the look out to replace any of my favourite cds that ive lost along the years with my unique drunken dj-ing style.  I managed to pick up MOON SAFARI by Air over the christmas period and was more than happy to have this excellent album back in my collection.

   Hitting the Valhalla record shop in Kilmarnock i managed to reaquaint myself with a few old friends. For the third, and hopefully last time, i bought Bloc Partys first album THE SILENT ALARM, the Stereophonics debut cd WORD GETS AROUND (yeah i know how much i go on about them, but this was a pretty decent album with some good tunes on it) and DIAMONDS AND PEARLS  by Prince, one of his finest albums of the 90s and could easily sit proudly beside any of his masterpieces of the 80s.

   I also picked up Nicky Wire’s solo album I KILLED THE ZEITGEIST. I was a bit worried that i was repeating a mistake i had made years earlier by thinking it would be a good idea to buy an album which featured JOHN SQUIRE, from the Stone Roses singing, but gladly this album by the Manic Street Preacher bass player is a far more tuneful and enjoyable affair. By no means is he a great singer but his slightly off tune vocals are quite endearing and, as proved many times with the Manics, he does have a way with a good melody. Its a nice little cd that rewards with repeated listening and will do nicely unitl the new Manics album comes out later in the year, which could be very interesting as it features lyrics that had been written and left by Richey when he disappeared 14 years ago.

  The first new release of the year comes from the hottly tipped WHITE LIES, whose debut album of the same name nicely slipped to number one on its first week of release. It doesnt really offer anything new, its a throwback to the cool end of the early 80s as well as trying to fill the gap until the next Editors album comes out. The Editors and Joy Division seem to be the biggest influences on this album and you can also hear a little of the killers here, a touch of the Cure there, the spirit of Echo and the Bunnymen files around and a gorgeous Duran Duran chorus complements early single TO LOSE MY LIFE. As i said to colin when we saw them supporting Glasvegas at the Barrowlands at the end of last year ‘i’d buy it!’. Well i did, and i love it. In fact the cds hardly been off since i bought it and im sure by the time i drunkenly stagger into a tent at this summers T in the Park, i’ll be down the front, jumping about like a maniac, back in my own little 80s heaven.

  I was very excited about the new Antony and the Johnsons cd coming out, and even more so when colin informed me that it was better than their last one IM A BIRD NOW. A bold statement as IM A BIRD NOW is one of my favourite albums of recent years. Very personnal as its helped me through many moments of madness in recent years and a cd i always love returning to, not just when im feeling down or sad or just want to be alone but also because its fills me with calmness and peacefulness. Its simply a  beautiful and sad piece of music from a unique voice in the music world.

  His new album, THE CRYING LIGHT, is another excellent selection of amazing songs that i feel i will never tire of listening to.

   Just before you think that ive left all my dodgy music buying behind me, dont panic. That part of lunacy will never desert me.  After leaving a charity shop in Ayr, i had found the bargain of the month by purchasing Madonna’s LIKE A PRAYER for £1 and the GREATEST HITS of Billy Ocean for 50 pence!

   LIKE A PRAYER is an excellent song, and the first time i heard JOY RIDE on the new Killers album, i swore to god i thought Brandon Flowers was going to break into this song at one point. Give it another listen, hes so close to going there.

  And Billy Ocean (have you seen him recently? bloody hell, he looks more like God than Morgan Freeman did in either Bruce Almighty or Evan Almighty) no matter what you say, theres more than enough songs on this cd for me to get my 50 pence worth. It concentrates more on his big 80s hits, theres no RED LIGHT SPELLS DANGER or LOVE REALLY HURTS WITHOUT YOU. But theres CARIBBEAN QUEEN, LOVERBOY, THERE’LL BE SAD SONGS and the bizzarely titled GET OUTTA MY DREAMS AND INTO MY CAR! where at one point in the song he asks someone to ‘touch his bumper’, wel i think (and hope) its his bumper hes talking about.

    And i still pray for the day that i open the papers to see that hes teamed up with those 90s mod rockers to form the ultimate supergroup, BILLY OCEAN COLOUR SCENE! I think i could die happy after seeing that collaboration.

   I mentioned in my A to Z alphabetising of my cd collection that i was on the look out for a copy of Duran Duran guitarist Andy Taylors 1987 solo album THUNDER, and hallelujah to colin who found a copy, searching the web, from Germany. You are indeed, my man, a golden god.

  After leaving Duran Duran in 85, Andy just wanted to do what he thought he did best, and that was to rock out. This is total 80s rock, and some people would say it should have been left there, but who gives a shit what some people say. On this album he teams up with another legendary guitarist, STEVE JONES from the Sex Pistols, who also helped write the songs. These songs sounded refreshingly familiar to me, even after some 20 odd years. I could quite easily jump in a time machine back to the 80s and happily stay there.

  Finally got THE SELDOM SEEN KID by Elbow, the one that won them the Mercury Music Prize last year. Im not a massive fan of this band, although i have now got all their albums, but do like some of their stuff and maybe will sit down at some point and go through them all again to see if i can appreciate them any better.

   Rounding off my music buying for january is the new album from Franz Ferdinand, simply called TONIGHT. Its apparantly a night out with Franz Ferdinand, which takes you out to the disco dancefloor, to after hours partying and raving and finally stumbing home in the early hours of the next morning all bleary eyed and danced out. They havent reinvented the wheel here or anything, its undeniably Franz, but why should they try to change it when it works so well for them. And if you’re quick you can get the limited edition package which comes with an extra cd called BLOOD, which is basically a selection of their new songs, all dubbed up if they dont already feel dancy enough for you.

    Thats us for january, so we’ll just have to wait and see what february has in hold for us. The Brit Awards are just round the corner so im sure i’ll have a few chosen words to say about the winnersand the sinners once its all done and dusted.

   And we’re getting closer to festival season, with the first few names just announced for this years T in the Park, or what is on first glance looking like De Ja Vu in the Park.  With a recession hitting and money worries at an all time high for everyone it looks like festival organisers are playing it safe this year. Connect Festival is having a year off with the promise of returning in 2010, and Kings of Leon and Snow Patrol have just been announced as two headliners for T 2009. It now seems that Kings of Leon are the house band for this event and it was only 2 years ago that Snow Patrol headlined the event. And Kate Perry, whose only had two chart hits singles out is headlining the NME stage on the saturday night.

    Considering we never went near the main stage for the main headliners last year, i dont think theres anything to worry about as theres many great treats to be found at this event on the other smaller stages and tents. Last year alone i had an excellent time discovering great performances from the 1990s, My Morning Jacket, Vampire Weekend, Frightened Rabbit, Alabama 3 as well as some better known established acts.

   I’ll be keeping a watchful eye as the line up unfolds over the next few months and if all else fails i’ll be following the instructions of Rick Witter from SHED SEVEN when he informed everyone in the crowd after their performance to GET PISSED. DESTROY!

Published in: on February 1, 2009 at 11:27 pm  Comments (1)  


 Im sure anyone mad enough to be following my alphabetical musical journey will no doubt be expecting a funny, witty tale about those bearded rockers ZZ TOP to round off my adventures, but alas, i dont have anything by these guys on cd at all.

    In fact, the last letter of the alphabet is represented by only 2 cds. The debut album by THE ZUTONS and the only album by Billy Corgans inbetween daytime Smashing Pumpkins job, ZWAN. I have no drunken live stories to tell about either of these artists and cant even say that i have been a regular listener to any of these cds.

   So my musical journey from A to Z, fizzles into the sunset, instead of going out with a bearded bang. But its not the end, more like the first recorded chapter of my on going, insane love with almost all things that are musical.

    As that crazy old song went “music was my first love, and it will be my last. music off the future and music off the past”, and if i have misquoted that line in anyway, then i have done my job right. Music and songs mean different things to different people. To me, i just love the way music can make you happy, sad, full of life, lonely, want to dance and shout or just want to lie back and think. But most of all music is fun and  music is a big part of my life and hopefully ive shown that with some of the crazy stories ive shared with you which have been soundtracked by the good, the bad and the down right ugly of the music world.

   Well ive got nothing left to share with you guys, at the moment, but i wont say goodbye because theres still an ocean of charity shops and bargain bins just waiting with hidden treasures for me to find. So until the next time if you find yourself guiltily listening to something that you know you really shouldnt be, but find yourself strangely enjoying it, you dont need to say anything. You know that i understand.

Published in: on January 18, 2009 at 8:56 pm  Leave a Comment  


 Paul Young, Neil Young and the Yo-yos. Not some supergroup to rival the golden oldie grouping of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, but the only 3 artists which i have under the letter Y.

  Theres a few things i can say about Yo-yos. Crazy toys with string which are hard as hell to master and seem to have no apparant reward once you can finally master them, or delicious minty chocolate biscuits, but if you’re looking for a description as to who, musically, the Yo-Yos are, then im sorry but i wouldnt have a clue what to tell you. Again i sit wondering where and when i had found out that owning a cd by the Yo-Yos would change my life, musically or otherwise.

    The only thing that Neil Young and Paul Young have in common in the music world is that they share the same surname. After that they may as well be performing on totally different planets. Neil would definetely stand out as the most talented, rocking and writing many classics over the years. but if it was a choice between these two to sit down and listen to then i would probably go with Paul. His big 80s hits were part of my teenage soundtrack.

  And the guy ovbviously had a great sense of humour as well. You only have to listen to his ‘unique’ version of JOY DIVISIONs ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’ to tell that.

Published in: on January 18, 2009 at 7:17 pm  Leave a Comment  


 I dont own a single cd by an artist beginning with the letter X. So to stop this being the shortest entry ever about music im going to give a little thought to the cds i once had but have now, one way or another, lost. Lets call them my X’s. (not to be mixed up in any way with Ex’s. Oh no!).

    I dont know how i managed to lose as many cds as i did. Many cds disappeared in the Cavern. The Cavern sold drink. I was sometimes found drunk in the Cavern while in charge of cds. You try and work it out. And it was never the cds that i couldnt care less about that went missing, it was always my newest ones or ones that i liked and loved. Its a surprise that i havent lost jodie at any point over the last 9 years.

  I have started trying to re-buy some of these cds whenever i could and whenever they were cheap enough and the fact the Cavern is no longer with us means that i should have no trouble in actually holding onto these cds now.

    Ive just bought Bloc Partys debut album for the third time! (it does take some kind of foolish genius to be able to lose a cd more than once). This also happened with the Scissor Sisters first cd. Ive also managed to replace Prince’s DIAMONDS AND PEARLS and, this will sound as crazy to you as it does to me, a Stereophonics cd. But it was their debut cd (why couldnt i have lost some of their other shit?) and it does have a few good songs on it, Traffic, Thousand Trees and Local Boy In The Photograph.

   Ive even managed to lose cds in the pub, only to find them reappear years later. No shitting you. Franz Ferdinands second album was lost when i had a night off a few years ago to go on a Starstudded trip to Edinburgh and i ended up buying a new copy, minus the free dvd, from fopp for a few pound. Then about a year and a half later it suddenly appears as if from nowhere, just sitting around in the Cavern. This also happened with Led Zepplins PHYSICAL GRAFFITTI which took something like a 2 year vacation from my collection before fnally returning.

   I finally rebought AIRs ‘MOON SAFARI’ at christmas there. I love this cd and once again have no idea how i managed to lose it.

    I had a HOT CHIP cd for all of 4 hours one time, not even getting a chance to hear it between buying it from asda and then losing it in the Cavern when it was ‘borrowed’, never to be seen again. The two box set singles of Duran Duran have also disappeared down a big Black Hole. And if Big Stephens holding my triple 10th anniversary copy of the Manic Street Preachers HOLY BIBLE hostage, he has still yet to ask for any kind of ransom demands.

   Mad Steph has PARKLIFE and BLUR by Blur which i think are now high up on my list for bargain bin hunting.

   Theres probably loads more, ocean colour scene, pearl jam, abc, david bowie, the cure, pulp, michael jackson, all spring to mind but hopefully i can keep this misplaced lunacy down to a minimum from now on. And unlike an Ex, i would welcome most of these X’s back into my life any time.

Published in: on January 18, 2009 at 2:21 pm  Leave a Comment  


 Apparantly im a BIG fan of Paul Weller. It would be the only explanation for having 9 of his solo cds. Wouldnt it? I do like his music, but im not as mad on his stuff as this number would have you believe. Colin did try and go and see him live at T i n the Park a few years ago, when he was headlining the NME stage on the Saturday night. I wasnt moving from my spot, getting ready for my spiritual experience watching Sigur Ros. He came back long before the end of his set, maybe because of the torrential rain and maybe because, as he said, “theres people down the front throwing pints of pish over everyone!”

  As mad and as uncool as this may sound, i do love Wet Wet Wet. And after a few bargain bin experiences over the festive period, i now have almost all their stuff on cd. Not everyone shares my love of this band, on buying their latest album a year or so ago, Dave disgustingly exclaimed “why are you buying this? its only giving them an excuse to make more music!”

  Anyway, ive seen them live 4 times, every one of them a great live experience. The last time was back in the 90s when they were playing at Parkhead. It was meant to be on the saturday, but was moved to the sunday because it was going to clash with the funeral of Princess Diana. If you remember she died in a horrific car crash in Paris with her then boyfirend Dodi. In fact its now remembered as ‘The Day That Dodi and Di Died Day!’.

     It was an all day affair, getting the bus up there then having a good few hours to roam around, find a few pubs that were reasonably safe to drink in (remember i did say we were going to Parkhead) and get into the full Marti party spirit. We did find a suitable place, that was pretty lively and also had some kind of wet wet wet afternoon disco on up the back. On buying our drinks and heading up the back, someone made a passing comment something like “good luck, they’ll eat you alive up there” to us, to which colin replied something in the vain of that we would be fine and it was maybe everyone else that maybe needed the luck.

    The place was mental, full of 30 and 40 year old drunk mothers with their daughters and resembled some mad kind of alternative universe where in that world it was the mothers who embarrased their daughters and not the other way around. At one point there was one girl who was almost reduced to tears after her mother had grabbed colin up for a dance then half way through decided it would be a great idea to swap tops, just like they do after a football match, with each other. Colin didnt need to be asked twice, so he wipped off his top and the mother also obliged leaving her just dancing around with her bra on. Who said Wet Wet Wet weren’t hardcore rock n roll.

  It was a great day, oh and the gig was pretty good as well.

  Got all the White Stripes cds, although lost their most recent one in the Cavern and have yet to find it at a reasonable bargain basement price to buy it again. Also seen them live twice. Its unbelievable what Jack White can do with a guitar and the sound he and Meg can make on stage.

   Got 5 Weezer cds, including two which i picked up in a charity shop for £1 each. and also have 5 Robbie Williams cds, although none of his most recent stuff because basically im guessing they would be pretty shit. Although back at the start of his solo career he did have a good ear for a catchy tune.

   Got the best of The Who as well as Tommy and Whos Next? and caught a little of them when they played at T in the Park. The best moment was staggering around the field, going from stage to stage, while the strains of BEHIND BLUE EYES could be heard flying around the festival site, as i said to myself at the time ‘it doesnt get much better than this’. Although im sure i also said to myself round about the same time ‘where the hell am i?’. Also got a trio of Whitesnake cds and caught them live a few years ago at the Exhibition Centre in Glasgow.

  A bunch of artists on 2 cds are We Are Scientists, who are excellent and a lot of fun live, Whiskytown (Ryan Adams old band), the Wonderstuff, the Wildhears, Whiteout (a group who played at the long forgotten Rock On The Water down the harbour at Irvine, and never ever came to anything after a couple of infectiously catchy singles), Tom Waits and Witness, who’s UNDER A SUN album i fear may remain a lost classic.

  Finishing off W, theres albums from the usual wide range of artists, with best of’s from KIM WILDE, WINGS, STEVIE WONDER, JACKIE WILSON and (no laughing out there), BRUCE WILLIS. This cd of his is a bit of a collectors item as it has his first album THE RETURN OF BRUNO in its entirety, as well as its soul shaking follow up WHAT DOESNT KILL YOU ONLY MAKES YOU STRONGER.

  Theres also cds from the WATERBOYS, WHEATUS (sorry!), PATRICK WOLF (excellent!), WILT (?????), the WOMBATS, WILCO, WORLD PARTY, WARM JETS and finally last but no way least is a great cd from WAS NOT WAS called WHAT UP DOG?. It features their big hit single WALK THE DINOSAUR, but its full of great and bizzare songs. It features other great singles SPY IN THE HOUSE OF LOVE, SOMEWHERE IN AMERICA and OUT COME THE FREAKS, a cover of Otis Reddings CANT TURN YOU LOOSE, the sinatra-a-like WEDDING VOWS IN VEGAS, the excellent elvis costello written SHADOW AND JIMMY as well as the gorgeous ANYTIME LISA. The bizarre is reprensented by two crazy songs, DAD IM IN JAIL, which features some mad vocoder screaming guy basically on the phone manically telling his dad that he was in jail and WHAT UP DOG, which is a deep Barry White spoken piece about a guy who walks into a grocery store and after finding that hes forgotten his wallet and cant pay for the stuff hes picked he then tells the guy behind the couter that ‘damn ive forgotten my wallet…..but i did bring my credit card!”, making sure that this guy knows in no uncertain terms that hes talking about his dog when hes remarking on his credit card. Crazy!

Published in: on January 18, 2009 at 11:15 am  Leave a Comment  

The Week That Music Died!

Fuck alexandra and your version of hallelujah,
All i want to do is stand up and boo ya,
And as for leonna lewis and her cover of run,
Why dont you just fuck off, run away, and become a nun?

Whats happening with music in the world today?
Its enough to make you want to get down and pray.
And Terry Wogans in the top 5, singing about little drummer runts,
The charts are offically polluted with cunts!


Thank the lord, that bollocks masquarading as a music talent programme has came to a finish once again. Although not before dragging another classic song through the mud.

  How many shit versions of Hallelujah can there actually be? Even the one attempted by myself on the acoustic guitar and vocals by jodie last night had more soul than what was on parade on the X factor.

  And if Alexandra doesnt make it in the music business (we can always live in hope) then she’s definetely got a future in acting, if that atrocious, over the top display of Gwyneth Paltrow award winning histrionics has anything to go by.

 And she wasnt the only one whispering thank god last night, although im sure, more of us were thanking the lord that this shit was over.

 Now we’ve gotta watch this piece of emotionless drivel fly to the top of the charts.

 Ive got a funny feeling that leonard cohen will shortly be setting out on a scuba diving expedition to ressurect the soul of the late, great jeff buckley from his watery grave and slap this lastest X factor winner around the face endlessly with two big wet fish until she realises what the fuck shes doing.

   I can already picture the scene next thursday night at my quiz when i stick on jeff buckleys excellent version of hallelujah only to end up, probably, is some sort of wild west bar room brawl when some mindless fucker says that it doesnt come anywhere near the sheer sonic gospel tearful version of Alexandras that we witnessed on the X factor!

 Death to the Xcrement Factor all it stands for,  all who sail on it and everyone who waves to it as it leaves the port.

 Its a Titanic programme just waiting for its own (Vanilla) Ice Berg!

Published in: on December 14, 2008 at 10:23 am  Leave a Comment