Motherfucker!!!???!!!

 
It looks like a new avenue has opened up for me as a real live Motherfucker!

if i took this up, whats the pay package like? is there some sort of bonus scheme? what kind of tax code would i be on?

i opened up my bebo page to find 3 messages waiting for me. wow, i thought, im mr popular today.

message number 1………….

Hi cutie! Pardon me, but what pickup line works best with you?

My mom is single again and she wants to find a guy she can have fun with. Her idea of a great first date would include wine, flowers, cheesecake, coffee and some dancing. Maybe you have a better idea, what would you propose? Don’t hold back, she’s the adventurous type! She’s not looking for a one-night stand however, sorry. She loves to laugh, so maybe throw a couple of jokes her way 🙂 I’m sure you will find her very attractive. She hates wearing too much makeup or perfume. She has perfect skin and an hourglass figure. She loves the color blue. If you’re looking for an outgoing, fun and easy-going woman, then reply back, don..t be shy.
Since this is my account though, please send your reply to her email address at lisa_thorsted at yahoo. com.

fuck the cheesecake for a start, that would be my first proposal.

and an hourglass figure, wow, someone to tell me when my eggs are ready.

then message number 2……………………

Hello, how are you? My mom read your dating ad and would like to meet you.

If you write back, you should email her at lisa_vignocchi at yahoo. com.

She would like to date and if you hit it off, she’d like to play it by ear. She’s been single for a while now and wants a new start. Her sort of guy would enjoy many of the things she does. She loves television, dancing, reading, going to bars, catching movies and listening to music. She also loves shopping and traveling. She has a youthful appearance and a gorgeous body.
She always complains that she does not get adequate exercise! I hope you can help her 😉

That’s it for me! It’s your turn stud.
Thanks!

adequate excercise!!!! may i suggest she gets on her fucking bike, or even take a hike!

and finally message number 3……………………………

Hi sweetie! Her lips are skittles, wanna taste the rainbow?

You’re hard to miss! I was browsing the site with my mother; she’s looking for a fun guy to date. We saw your profile page and fell in lust. She really likes you and wants to meet. She’s been single for a few months. She briefly tried the dating scene, but she wasted her time. She’s looking for a man that won’t play head games or who is not a cheater. She’s beautiful and is a bit of a flirt. She loves to go out and to have a good time. She also likes to watch television and movies, but she needs some doses of physical activity. She has plenty of interests, you can discuss them with her, I know you’ll have some in common. She’s original, compassionate and outgoing. BTW, this is not her account, so please don’t reply directly to my message.
Instead, send your reply to her email address at lisa_dantzler_g at yahoo. com.

her lips are like skittles!!!! now theres a line to bowl someone over.

and she fell in lust with my profile!!! what????
did her guide dog go barking fucking mad or something like that.

now im up for a bit of adventure and this is at least a new one, obviously all the sex crazed nigerian woman are hibernating at the moment.

call me mad, but i havent added any of these email addresses, but if any of you guys want to give it a go, feel free. and dont worry, i wont tell anybody.

Mums the word! ha

but wouldnt i be cool if someone called you a motherfucker and you could reply “why yes, i am a motherfucker, so any time youre not running back to mommy crying into her shoulder, just give me a shout and i’ll come round and help her out”

had to share this with you guys.

over and motherfucking out!!!!!!

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Published in: on September 29, 2008 at 11:14 pm  Leave a Comment  

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