Marvin Gaye and his masturbatory ways!

 What you’re about to read might seem like a wild work of fiction, but in hindsight makes total sense. Well it does in my world anyway.

 Once again finding myself in the crown, wondering what the fucks going on as the cd player churns out another atrotious crime vaguely masquarading as music, i was more than pleasantly surprised to hear the legendary Marvin Gaye come on.

 A pure talent if ever there was one i was compelled to unleash my story of how he sings like such an angel, and also how the karaoke world would be a better place if they all applied marvins unique singing preparations to their kamakaize karaoke lives.

 I also watched an open mouthed jake, one of the karaoke hosts from the crown, as my story unfolded.

  I told them the true story (search for it and you shall find) of how, just before marvin would go into the studio to lay down his vocals for whatever motown classic he was about to sing on, that he would always nip to the toilet for a quick wank.

 Now you may feel that this sounds prepostorous, and just a little vulgar, but as he always ended up singing like an angel, its also a valid point that many other would be singers should actually think about, and maybe vigoursly pursue.

 The main reason for the great mans actions were all about how if you were in the raging throws of passion, once the almighty climax had appeared, you’re left in such an utter state of pleasure that theres nothing left within you, apart from utter joy that when you sing, its nothing but pure emotion that comes out.

 This action always lent a ‘helping hand’ to many motown classics, such as ‘I heard it through the grapvine’, ‘can i get a witness’, ‘the onion song’, and the amazing ‘abraham, martin and john’.


Has anybody here, seen my old friend John –
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
He freed a lot of people, but it seems the good die young
But I just looked around and he’s gone.

  Well already people were in disbelef of my story, but i confidently soldiered on, telling jake that if everyone that came into the crown actually followed in marvins footsteps the listening pleasure of the karaoke would increase dramastically.

 I also mentioned that have you ever noticed that throughout a night at the karaoke that the more time people get up to sing, and after a few visits to the toilet, that they improved immensly.

  So i can honestly say, whole heartedly that the bigger wanker you are, the better singer you will become.


 If you dont believe me, give it a try.

Published in: on October 5, 2008 at 12:28 pm  Leave a Comment  

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